head spinning

So much is going on. I mean to write, but I am so swamped with working, and I am not complaining. But I am conscious of a need to have a moment.

A week ago my ex-husband had me again questioning my attempts to make our relationship better. He was in flying form, and I was so fed-up with everything. But then, I was able to pull back and observe. I am so grateful for the opportunity to listen, learn and to think on a level that I have made it my life's goal. When I was eighteen I stopped going to church regularly, and began to read about spirituality instead. Today, I see all the time, this choice, living through me. There is nothing wrong with going to mas from time to time, but for me, it was important to put myself through something different to be able to return to where I need to be.

Yet, last week, I was overwhelmed with what seemed like too many energy stealers doing whatever they could to attack me. Or so it felt.

In those moments it can really feel as though what is happening outside of oneself is stronger than what is inside. But it takes just a shift in perspective to restore yourself.

In the island as well, so much madness is going on with the government that to record it here would take days of entires. It is very easy to feel taken over by that too.

To top it all off, my two nieces shall be here for three months and they arrive in a few days. The last time they were here, they were extremely disruptive. I am keeping an optimistic opinion on that one, as there is little that can be done about it at the moment.

On another note though, last week also saw me seeing an old flame whom I had not laid eyes on in five years.

When we met, I was truely moved by how much we mean to the other. It was interesting. The feelings have mellowed and grown, I would say, like a fine wine.

We talked, laughed and enjoyed each others company on a very even level. There was no need to push or force anything at all. When there was silence in our conversation, it felt natural.

It was very, very nice to see him.

Then, another blast from the past had his own emotional connection to me, and that leaves me very curious. But I shall leave those thoughts for another day.