Projects

I may have written here that this year I really feel that after all of this time, in some instances, years....the time has come to either make a few projects come to be or get off the pot. In every instance, the issues have occured because I am not doing the concept alone. They are my idea, but I have felt that I needed support to make them happen. I don't feel that way anymore. The intention is to get things done.

My week was all over the place, kinda like the weather. But it was a good week. Having so much going on actually prooved helpful. I was able to stop and take stock. ALso, it got me to look at things that usually, when I feel upset, I brood. These days, I consider much more behind that sort of response to things affecting me. I can see when something is just a moment. I see when shifting the perspective tells me that what I believe something may concern is really about something else. Of course I now wish that I was this discerning decades ago. However, it is also most likely that given more information guarantees nothing. What comes to mind is doing the best now as much as is possible to predict the future, while predicting ones own.

Sometimes I start my writing with a certain intention and as I start to touch the keyboard whatever it was just dissipates.It has been a hell of a week. Venezuela has experienced two earthquakes back to back at 7.1 and 7.5. We have family there and are very anxious about what we are seeing on televsion. There are weeks where the feeling seems to be that six days went like twenty-four hours. Lol.It is also very hot. That's the kindest thing to say, because it is easy to get obsessed with what it actually feels like. This is happening all over the world, so I feel sympathy with everyone going through summer. I will just say that it causes you to retreat to your bed and a fan going on high, yet, you feel like your on a pan frying. The delarious weak feeling also is part of it.

mid year

There are things that I go back and forth on and it is pretty normal. But, frustrating.I must have written this so many times before and again, now is no different. There are so many small things that I wsometimes want to capture...miniscule moments that mean something only to me and I don't or it is not considered when I write here and offline. These little snippets always come back to have some meaning. I want to try to be more mindful of that in the future. Next....its six months into 2026. When I was a child and a teen, moreso child, I remember calculating some of the years to this...I think I remember saying 2025 in my child mind, wondering what it may be like then. I am not at this age doing that so much anymore. I don't say, hmmm, 2030, 2060. This may be because so much life is behind me. But, come on. Just as the past that is now the present felt so unkown and promising, the future needs to also feel that way. It is so important to have confidence in your life, to have wonder and joy too. It is necessary to be hopeful...to have and build a legacy. It is good consider those you know and love and support and who support you. It is wonderous to imagine the people and experiences yet to be had. I can spend my time in fear, dread and worry. Or I can remember that I am still very much that eight year old child at heart.

Go

Go with fear, Go with trembling. Go with that sick to your stomach feeling. Go with tears in your eyes. Go with that pain in your heart. BUT BY ALL MEANS____________________GO! ____________________________GO for the ancestors, go for the children who are yet to be born. Go for the Middle Passage. Go for Faith. Go for courage, and even go because those who are good and well meaning deserve to stand up to those causing the pain........so GO because they have no strength. GO for God and Go for country.

I am seeing revolution and I shine

Last week there was a situation that occured in a meeting broadcast on You-Tube. The young Senator had had enough and the dam broke. He called out the steady diet of racist comments, but moreso, the actions that are encouraging an underclass. In America an Asian man thought that a young black boy was stealing a bottle of water and shot and killed him. African Americans decided finally to stop buying from Chinese stores...their salons, their groceries, their restaurants. This happened when an asian man took to Tik Tok and dared black people to boycott asian stores. He was confident that they could never do it, and so, his dare was met. The stores are now empty, and black Americans are going further by making certain that other black people KNOW who, what, where the black businesses are. WHen the George Floyd situation happened, I began looking at that very question and I found a great list of African American businesses in America. In my country, I have a much smaller list, I do my part, but I do not discriminate against anyone who may have a product that I need. However, it hurts today to think that some people who take the money of people of color call them cockroaches and worse. It is time to draw the line that has to be drawn.

gonna make a change

There is Michael Jackson mania for months based on the film of the same name where his nephew plays him. I have not gone to see it because to me, no one can play him. I bring this up today because I want to theme my musings as ...gonna make a change and of course his song comes to mind. As I get older, I know now that making shifts and corrections is never ending. One subtle move does not mean in every instance a big splash. Some things are also learned again and again and sometimes to my dismay, hit different as the slang goes. What has my bee in my bonnet is how clear it is to me that I am about to move. I don't know what it shall yield, I just know that it is time.