When I think about things that bother me of late, I am easily reminded of those who have struggled with far more than I have ever been asked to carry. It is that that can help me through the things that I come up against. I am feeling a bit unsteady tonight because I feel down. But I will be fine. I am feeling this way because I feel put upon by my ex and my family and my job. I feel as though everything is weighing down on me and I have no real avenue to find a moments peace. But really, I am allowing things to overwhelm me, that is all. If i step back and take things one at a time and really examine them, then I can cope much better. It is the letting one thing pile on top of another thing and another thing that makes me feel this way. My plans this year require a lot of careful maneuvering, and I am very focused. It means taking advantage of every day, asking myself whether I achieved a part of my bigger picture as the days quickly fade to the past.

of late I have been giving a lot of thought to value on the job. Today we had a meeting at work and were asked to help bring in more clients. That was expected. I know that things have been falling off for some time. However, the rest of the staff sat there and didn't volunteer to help in any way.The first thoughts on my mind was to know whether there was a budget for this drive ( there was not) and whether it was possible to explore unauthodox approaches to the request? I was told no problem at all. now, what we were being asked to do is the job of say, a CEO in a company, and I began to wonder whether a deal could be struck, where, the success of the number of people we could get could equate to raised salaries. But I decided not to bring it up at the meeting, as everyone else was so typically apathetic. What I plan to do instead is ask myself that question as a freelance person instead, How can I give work that clearly shows value and get people to pay for it? I know that I can and I do create value all the time with my work, but I am not necessarily strategic about it, and I can be.I have some traveling to do this year and the places planned are not close by, so funding is crucial, because I don't only want to go on the trips, I also expect that I will return from them with money in hand and no challenges of financial lack like I had last year at one point...so that definitely means being strategic about all of the things I intend on seeing come to pass.

random haiku

the beauty of every day. the perfection of every thought. the opportunity to start anew every day. just grateful feeling the energy of your breathing as you see, breathe, talk and do there is knowing other thoughts to have other ways of looking at something else a satisfaction when you mind your own business and focus on what you need so that others can benefit from your good energy and produce good energy too