stream of consciousness

Today I had a very important moment. It wasn't flashy, it was barely perceptable, but it encouraged in me to consider myself and my world in a way that I felt that it was very important to listen. My auntie and I had gone to the local grocery chain and then got back via the semi new driver taking us home. This driver had not taken us home before, and his car was quite rickety, so we both wondered what sort of drive we would get. He did however get us home safetly. On the way, I was taking in the view as usual. A large truch at one point was ahead of us, and he sensibly remained two vehicles behind. I thought about my morning. My critical anaysis of myself, deciding for the millionth time that I must change my diet and exercise routine. I reminded myself particularly to consider taking one day off for myself for that very reason. I heard myself, as I always do, but somehow this time, I was speaking to myself a bit differently, softer, gentler and with a certainty.I cannot describe it any other way. I wanted to stay in his car and listen to myself all day long. I was considering what I would do for my wellbeing. I was making plans that didn't feel stressful. I was guiding my mind along a path where I was just certain that every thought and decision made was not only going to happen, but already done and I was just enjoying the process. I had to come right to this page and write it all down. It was such a lovely moment that I deeply appreciated.

Almost

Sometimes there is so much to write and no idea where the writing shall lead. I have been taking a very long time on one of my freelance projects, but finally I am seeing some light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I am back in the valley and missing my daughter so much, and she, me. But we chat every day, sometimes several times. Her dad tells her that he shall not be going back to Iraq, and plans to stay on the island until she ends high school. His intention is to then move to Canada, hoping that she will go with him. Meanwhile my plans are that I complete the book that I am doing, then another one begins right after. There are two other personal projects that I want to complete and of course there is the magazine to do. My daughter now has a travelling bug, so we want to do a bot of that too. As I write I feel a bit overwhelmed as it seems that the year is just racing by. Do I have time? I take the moment to breath out and know that I am doing all that I want to accomplish.