I had planned of writing about a number of things that have just recently happened, but it is all so new that I see no reason to do it here. I will only state for now that it taught me a lot. What I can write though, is that no matter how professional you may think you are being when you have a third or fourth party involved, personalities can greatly rock the foundation of any plan.

It is cold, cold, cold every day. What is so funny about this being the case in this part of the world is that unlike when you are in a temperate country, you don't walk around in layers. I think I better do that in a few moments. There is so much to that I have to do. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment, but I shall be fine. I feel this way only because I am thinking of many of them at once. I am very excited about the plans I have set out. After the carnival season I plan to spend some time in archives looking for the research. Then I plan a solo show and I am working on that right now. Amidst all of that I have a bunch of personal things to see to as well...I bought my daughter some rollerskates. I want to use them and I am terrified of falling on my face or my ass! But, falling is part of it isn't it?

Starting again is imperative. It is like having a second wind to do the things you set out to do but could not complete. A new year feels like that always. I put out some unfinished things today and I have materials to purchase in days ahead to make these pieces complete. It is the start of a big intention. The feeling that I get thinking and being deliberate is intoxicating. I am finally ready to step into the potential that I have waited for and honed for decades. No longer is it about what may I think is necessary to be seen and appreciated. I appreciate and that is the strength and the satisfaction of making. Why does it take so long to settle? I can only say that the fight between two minds in my thinking is the cause. There are days that I can be uninterrupted by dounbt, but that does not mean that it will not be waiting for me tomorrow. Only age brings reason. I find that I am now for want of a better way to say, better friends with myself now. As I get more centred and focused within, I see the ability to just be. It is a gift.

Waaaay

December is here! What a year it has been!I have learned so much, experienced things, felt greatest dismay and sadness but have also come to know that there is great metal within me, great strength and I must also state, beauty. I fight! My countenance is serene. Gosh! The year ahead....I face continued anxiety, wanting to start new things that have been on very short lists for years...a proper consideration to what I am to be doing in my career. An expectation that things shall run closer to plan and exceed them. That money and opportunities towards same shall come and again exceed expectations.

prepared

I can't recall how many times I have said that I want to have an online shop. I see it as an opportunity to create limited edition things that I enjoy making, having another form of income, giving someone or more a part time job (because I will need to do this once it gets going) and the general joy of knowing that I created a consistant form of income from an idea. So finally it is coming to pass. I am excited and shall be writing about this.

more, more, more

It is that time of year where some of the Christmas spirit gets into you making you feel a sense of joy. I also think that it has to do with coming to the end of the term too. A bit of looking forward to not feeling like I am going like a freight train! Jeez! What a fast few months! I learned a lot from the last thirteen weeks.This morning I did the usual. I got up and stayed lying down with my eyes closed. I heard myself say that I have had so many ideas over the years, a dizzying amount. One idea is all I need to focus on of all of them. I know the idea that came to mind. I will not state it here, as I want to act on what was said to me. I got up and felt a sense of wonder about it all. My higher self, thank you for the statement.

well

The American ELections are over and being tallied at this time. I do not want to hear anything, but mom and my daugter are fully invested in it.It is very early in the race to get invested or concerned. My neice voted but my sister didn;t realise that the Bali, Singapore trip she wanted to takw for over a decade and finally did with the love of her life...meant that she couldn't vote, so she is disappointed about that. Meanwhile, I can be so blaze as well because I am just simly tired. Tired. So much is continuing to go on, and I am about to read myself the way I did my students this evening. I 'read' them via the work that they give to me. Of my own work, I can say right now that I must give up some of the things that clearly impair my process to make work. I just gotta do it.