taking my own advice

Already for the year I have collected a few experiences that are defining my resolve for my future. Some of the things, I have thought before and are reoccuring this year. One being, more observant, less reactive and saying even less than ever. So much is seen when you don't fall for reacting and speaking when others want to goad you. S I L E N C E what a beautiful thing indeed. Observing what and how I behave when I am unhappy. Complaining is such a trap. It is but a moment, but it is such an envolved one. Sheesh! Coming to terms with the fact that it is but a moment and that observing yourself within that moment is so restful and seperating, is such a freedom. U N H A P P Y It also makes me ask whether I plan to stay in that position or if I believe that there is more to my experiences, plans and hope than that? C O N F I D E N C E You do not know what life has in store. But you do know that you have the opportunity to sculpt your best out of it. I have asked this of myself. Particularly when I have caused people to be disagreeablewith me or in any way a discordance that I then repeatidly think about and I further then wonder about peoole pleasing. I just don't like when things disturb my peace to the extent that I cannot fix it. I am even getting carried away right now by going on about it...so there is still work to be done no doubt. F O C U S Don't get distracted by such moments too much. Find a way to accept and to continue on to doing my best.

about

I am about...famous words before optimism.

I have not written in some time. Of course so many things have happened, and I cannot begin to trace the time. But I am not here tonight to do that. I havebeen up and down and sideways. As my birthday approaches, I ask the usual questions when one is hitting a milestone. I have come here tonight with no plan at all, nothing to report although there is so many angles that I can apply. I am just taking a moment to remember that I am here and just breathing out.

Happily tired

Sometimes when I come to this electronic diary I am so aware of all the things that I think and focus on that do not make it here. But I am framed by it all, formed by my experiences.I have been doing so many things work wise that I am and also am not getting paid for. But my point is to clear my schedule for other things that I want to get done. The year is speeding by. Already one of my deadlines is fast approaching and I am feeling that if I miss the window I shall be in deep crap for 2026.Anyway, when I write like this, I get mindful of how wonderful it is to be able to state such things. I am thrilled and pleased to know that it is my own work being nurtured. I don't want to waste any more time letting little inconveniences stress what is working on my own terms.

So I sprained my right foot. Yep. I was wearing some black slippers that look like fake Yeezy's knowing fully well that they have a suction cup effect sometimes. But that didn't cause the injury. My foot twisted in the left shoe and affected the right and I went down on my knees and literally flopped to the side on the ground. At first I thought that it was minor. But then my left big toe was bleeding and then I was feeling the side of my right foot feeling uncomfortable and hurt. The next thing I know, when I am getting up hours later from the table of my friend's house as we complete looking at a book together that is eing edited...I realise that my foot is in the first stages of being swollen. By the time I get home I cannot walk on my right foot. It is far worse than when I fractured my toe or sprained my right. I got a bit frightened by this accident because this has happened again. WTH. My auntie when she saw me and helped me with my pain, she told me that the accident has to do with too much anxiety. This is true. I act fine, but my mind does go all over the place.I do what I can to through my mind forward, meaning, I know that this is but a moment. But sometimes from moment to moment, the same issue is still there. However today I am recoperating.

now that de carnival is over

So much to get back to. First of all, I am inthe position to do something new. There shall be some researching...some re-evaluating and some untried actions ahead for me. I have approached one person and discussed redoing the book I had been working on for many years. This time I want to include doing Podcasts and a You-Tube channel. A great conversation with a friend of mine has helped me consider my plans in a slightly different way. I am now all about breaking up my intentions into days and weeks. That isn't the new attitude though, the new attitude is the way I shall approach anyone I choose to work on my projects with. My intentions are to work on my publications. I also have a desire to complete my ceramics and my stationary pieces. These things have to be photographed and eventually seen in an online shop capacity. The plans are underwayas I write.

I had planned of writing about a number of things that have just recently happened, but it is all so new that I see no reason to do it here. I will only state for now that it taught me a lot. What I can write though, is that no matter how professional you may think you are being when you have a third or fourth party involved, personalities can greatly rock the foundation of any plan.