Everything hangs on the outcome of a process of negotiation. It's got you feeling like a puppet on a string. But the more you see yourself as a victim of circumstance, the more you will become one. Your position is far stronger than you know.
~
After my tirade in the last post, I calmed down, took my child for our favourite walk and got centred. I learnt alot from my anger, and that seems to be the way things have been going.
I am experiencing so much, and at times I feel overwhelmed by how things seem to be coming to me. But in all of that, I find the avenues for learning and seeing how the universe works, too amazing to ignore the power of it.
This week, my birthday week, I have seen my ex-husband behave abominably to get his way, and for once, FINALLY I am seeing him without my rose coloured glasses. Finally I am seeing that I do not owe him anything. I cannot negotiate with someone who is controlling. He loves seeing me react to him. He gets kicks from engaging me and trying to manipulate me. It is obvious and troubling to observe his tactics. The oddest thing has been to listen to what he says and know that everything he accuses me of, I think exactly that way of him.
Yet, I must also have compassion. But, I also have to have the law on my side.
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