Looking at the turned corner

There is much to be said for personal growth.It comes sometimes, or possibly most times,from some experience that may be traumatic in nature.
My ex-husband returned to the country after giving me only two days notice when he left to immigrate. I expected that he would do what he is presently doing, which is returning and assuming that it is business as usual.
This time I was prepared for any outcome,and I was saddened that this could all have been solved with basic courtesy from him. If he had called at any time, or talked to me in a way that I could see that he understands that joint means working together. It doesn't mean kissy kissy, but it should mean civil behavior on his part. But he is not yet at a place where he can act that way, and so I have had no choice but to act as I have.
What is interesting to me about this latest experience, is that I used to be so afraid to put a foot wrong, and naturally I felt as though I made many mistakes. This was so pervasive that in some ways I gave up my opinions to him in our marriage. I also felt that I had to defer to those older than I,for advice. I realized that I had an authority problem.I did this under the guise of my own confidence,because I was not completely lacking in it,it was just that there were moments when I felt that I did not know something,and,I didn't venture forward.
I stayed in the background assuming that they knew better than I did.
What I observe now is that although I still display worry and sometimes fear in the unknown, I am not letting that stall me. I am not saying to myself that I cannot move because I am afraid of making a mistake.
Instead I am interested to feel the trepidation,as, in a way, it leads me to feeling what this fear is, and in looking at it stone cold, I can dissect it and lay it plain out before me and look beyond its alledged spikes.
Fear,worry, they are there, but they are not looming over me making me unable to move.