DARE 2 B happy

I just had to play a bit with that title. I cannot remember when last I went out somewhere to have fun? As I write, the neighbour is having a wedding, and the music is of course, loud and festive. Today is also my dad's birthday, so there is the element of end of year, birthdays and celebrations, and of course, one must think about what is to come.
I thought about the title from looking at some trash television, something that I have not done for many, many months. There is nothing like television to push you into an area of nicely packaged semi-reality.
There are birthday parties to plan,and even simple moments to remember as joyous. The point is to get to it.
I found this great article on happiness yesterday, and that reminds me as well about getting out of the bad habit of stultifying sameness.
I am guilty of having one or two things that is going on with me,dominate my reality. I think for the rest of the year I must consciously work on doing better.

More cohesive than others

I have decided that I shall take full advantage of the moments when I feel optimistic. Those moments feel as though I am invincible. I feel that every idea can be accomplished and every stumbling block in my way is but a pebble.
I like feeling this way, and I think that I have longer periods of optimism than not. However, I am not fully there, and I am not certain that anyone ever gets there other than Buddhist monks and Sufi clerics. But it doesn't hurt to try.
The confidence that I feel today is one where I see a great deal of my work complete, I feel that I am definately moving towards the direction I need to go to move on with my life, and I even feel that I can solve the more immediate issues that I dealt with this week.

What a week, my little one was ill and in hospital, and I had a number of issues to deal with. Of late I have been asking at every situation that I come across, tell me what I am to learn. This new habit has made circumstances easier for me.
In the next week, I want to get the things that I have been planning, accomplished, or at least started.
I have not been one hundred percent myself. But that is expected because I have been dealing with my little one.

Realisation

There is nothing like coming to an understanding about some things in your life. The funny thing is that they are not particularly remarkable. They are sometimes truisms that you have heard for many years. But when you finally GET it, it is serendipitous.
For me, it is the decision last week to literally say in my mind that 'I am starting over,' doing this, I now find myself able to embrace my decisions like never before.
Why this is different than before, is in the way that I am thinking. I am not making decisions based on what I think I shall like. I am great at making long lists of things that I need to do. But this time, what I am feeling is a sense of myself as the maker of these decisions with the intention of moving forward with my child.
What is wonderful too, is the assurance and confidence I feel about this.
In the past I have been unsure about which direction to take. But now, I say to myself, whatever you do not know, get expert advice, but it it ultimately MY decision to make. That makes me feel very positive for a change.
This is a big deal for me, because at one point in my life I was afraid to make the wrong decision and I let other people's opinion overshadow my own.
I always thought that I was simply agreeing with their opinion, and found that opinion sound, but really I was giving up some of my responsibility and my view, bit by bit. I can see this now, and I am not going back in that direction again.