The Royal Wedding Day

My dear friend and I had a really good, long talk about my ex-husband. Most recently he has returned to a pattern of behavior that concerns me enough to have to take some steps myself.
I have learned a great deal over the last few years...as one should. For example, I have actually forgotten how long I have been divorced, can you believe it? So the mercy of time is such a salve.
Yet, with all that I am doing, I sometimes feel as though I am taking too long. One may ask, too long for what?
The divorce has made me (as would be expected) look inside and ask myself, what are MY needs? What are the things that would truly make me feel that my life is as I want it to be?
It is much more than a question. It is an attitude, and a certain knowing. I have written the lists in my life, it isn't by half about that. It is a much deeper thing. It is a satisfaction within the self, whatever position you are in at the time. It is knowing that whatever the case, you shall be fine, that whatever is bothering or hurting shall not consume you, it shall pass.
I have felt so down and out so many times. I have felt that to move on may be the most difficult, and unlikely thing to happen, because nothing looked like it was happening.
I had felt that my faith was nowhere and no one could or would help me.
I felt so very sorry for myself.

But after one time, there is another.
You cannot be down forever or up forever. And more important, neither are ultimate positions. Neither define what you can do.

Today I stand in the knowledge that I am a work in progress and I expect setbacks. But here and now, I feel and know that life is beautiful. life is a gift.
I can look within from whence cometh my help indeed.

doing so much

I now have three Tumblrs, all very interesting to me. One on Art, one for my personal work and another for Graphic Design. I also plan one based on style in the Caribbean. I enjoy doing them. I do not spend so much time on them that they are overwhelming. I am doing them for the usual reasons as well....to have an archive and to eventually have a body of work that could become a book.
So much has been going on that I have not come to this site in awhile. But I think about it from time to time.
I miss it, because as I write now, I realise that I have to get back in the groove to write here.
Some exciting things have been happening...I am feeling much better than I have in the last three years. I am looking forward to things that I am planning.
My ex has been trying to derail me of late, so I know for sure that I am definitely going in the direction that is best for me.
On another front, there is a development that I just finally quashed. It was difficult because I enjoyed it, but it just does not make sense to pursue it. It was odd too, because he made some elaborate plans with me in mind, and I just did not do it. I did not follow through. So, why am I feeling good about it?
Although part of me would have liked to say to hell with how it may look or be, I just could not bring myself to a place where I could act cavalierly about it, I could not help but think down the road.
Now this does not mean that he shall give up that easily. He has not been giving up for years. I actually admire his tenacity, not in regard to me, but as a business person. There is something that can be learnt from him.
I also have some new project concepts that I feel very happy about. I really should get back into the groove of writing here...I shall again, soon.