The Joy of sex

One of the things that I am coming to terms with is my sexual self. I do not know in what other way to confront myself.
Here I was, a virile, handsome man wanting me, and I decline.
I do so because it is the right thing to do.
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I find myself occasionally conflicted about my desires...I have gone back and forth about who I desire.
I have had to separate the 'feelings' from the person. I am aware of a burgeoning sexuality within me that I want to express and to explore in full with a man who understands it and is a willing, capable partner.
I do not believe that this shall be difficult to attain.

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I find that I fragment myself sexually. I find myself hiding a bit from my intentions.
Why am I doing this?
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I think that I want to know myself more. I want to take whatever it is, slowly, really develop something beautiful.
I think that my needs now are more evolved than they were at twenty-six or even thirty-six.
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I think that in getting to know myself now, I want to enjoy the process.
I feel that it makes me, 'me.' This is just how I will do things.
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Punto finale