Curious...er and curious...er

How did I guess? When it rains, it pours. Frequent flyer contacted me today...acted like no time had passed and like everything is everything. I decided that I would behave the same way as well, as to me, we are still and will always be friends. But guess what? Somehow I felt a weird feeling after the fact. The feeling was that I am conscious of something more. Despite what I said and that I am doing. I still sense that I can get sucked into caring about him again. So this means that I will just have to have a chat with him. I have not really put my feelings out there, except when we flirt, and now I think that the fact that he put out there the possibility that it could have become more, I have every right to broach the topic. Then my first bf calls me tonight. He wants to go out with me. Of late I have been saying no. We have had lots of fun, and this is why I am saying no. I do not want to get any more comfortable with him than I have been. He has become a go to convenience, and I do not want a nearly booty call scenario. It makes no sense to me. I have not seen any improvements on his part, any real decision to move on, so I just decided to quit him. Literally. I thought that he understood, but tonight we had a bad moment, where he tried to exert some sort of power or something over me! I was not sure what he was trying, bringing up old times, insisting that something happened like twenty years ago where I asked him for sex! No such event took place! This is a head turner? I even asked him, if that actually happened, then what does that have to do with not wanting to go out tonight? He behaved like a petulant child. It is inevitable I suppose in relationships, for emotions to flare up. I know this, and I feel odd about both of these people tonight. I cannot continue either scenario. It is just not healthy for me. I do not see them amounting to much more than sexual frustration on my part, their part, whatever. I am doing what is best for me and feeling the spin off of such a choice. But I shall be well. I shall hold to what I know is the way I want things to be.