contemplations in a covid world

Two posts today....one of the things that I have been doing is finding some way to devise a schedule for myself. I am doing a free online class that i began yesterday for example and my mum and I may also do a Duolongo class in learning Mandarin. I have been working on a book for a million years and my partner and I had shelved it for a year and we were just talking about starting it up again with the intentions of helping children in a home that he volanteers at, as a financial gesture to assist them with placement when they turn eighteen. Now that has stalled. However, I decided to contact two of the interviewees of the twenty that I have to speak with again. In so doing, I had to go onto Facebook to reach one of them. That person has the flashiest page and life. He knows celebrities, he is extremely wealthy from his work and he is both young and handsome and filled with life and has a really large personality. He's a nice person. I was vicariously watching a few of his images. I don't know why, but I always feel as though I am being a voyeur on Facebook. I cannot go through people's pictures. It just feels wrong to me....I feel as though I am rifling through someone's life without their permission. Lol. Anyway, I obviously saw a few of his images because I was on his page directly when I wrote to him...and I got sucked into his glamorous world and I asked myself, what is it about him that makes me feel a distance between my life and his? Am I jealous of his success? Is it that he has something that I want? The answer that came to me was quite enlightening. I heard myself respond that the reason I am looking at his page and considering what I was, is because I think that there is something I need to be doing in my own life. BAM! On further assessment, I realised that I DO NOT promote myself that way online. I have never posted images of the places I have been....travel is not novel to me. I don't take pictures of what I just ate. I don't have an online social life period, I find it absurd!I am not living for likes. That satisfied me tremendously to get back to myself. It is nice to visit others, but it is also nice to acknowledge the self.

home bound

This pandemic has changed everything. I marvel at the fact that like everyone else in the world, I had had some specific plans and intentions and was going about some of them and now, they do not matter in the slightest. My government have been absolutely amazing in their handling of the crisis, but a few citizens have shown their selfish sides by still congregating in churches and at impromptu fetes. That has been the most vexing, infuriating thing! There was even a daycare centre that the Minister of National Security had to close down. Why do some people not understand the severity of the situation is a head scratcher!We get up now and every day is a damn blessing! The situation feels so fraught with tension despite trying to just go about ones day. You wonder whether this unseen germ may be laying around on surfaces just waiting to greet you. My Aunt went out to the grocery store yesterday and I was jumpy about it. When she got back I policed her about washing her hands and taking her clothes off in the laundry room right away. It was a bizaare moment. It had been a long day for me, as a friend and his wife came into the country to 'surprise' his mother. They live in Atlanta, Georgia and when I saw the images of his return (on Facebook), I was livid. Neither he nor his wife self quarantined....no, they went to he other island and took pictures on the beach, then they went sight seeing and even took a picture with another couple whom I know, who they were hugging with no thought to social distancing. This sent me into one of my rare rages! I sent him a poster from the Minister of national Security demanding self quarantine and waited to make sure that he saw it and responded. I just had to do it! The idea that a simple decision like returning home can kill your family is too great to be polite about. Luckily he took heed. I really, really hope that they are alright and did not bring Covid-19 to their family that they wanted to surprise. We have to be vigilant right now. We know that although we have small numbers, we could see a rise in them. We can not afford to have a run where this is concerned because we only have so many alternative spaces to treat with the disease if it catches hold. However, amidst all of this, just as the Italian people have been so inspiring, there have been many pockets of good cheer and fun as we all stay at home that has helped this unique situation.

Covid 19's unexpected messages

With all of the world on pause because of the Corona Virus, I have found a certain calm amidst the storm. To me the fact that the whole world has had to stop and focus only on the present is a very good thing. Slowing ourselves down to a halt begs the questions of why do we consume so much? Why do we think that we have to rush to jobs that slowly kill us every day? We cannot spend quality time with those we love. The media that we hate, we also worship. Everything we are about is screwed up in some way. We import so much from far away places, we neglect what is close and belongs to us. If we have straight hair we want curly hair. We contort our bodies into the latest fashion that we must have right now to outdo that person over there. It is insanity. I like the fact that how we proceed is uncharted. I like the fact that the situation is writ large and scary and devastating and we cannot miss it. The tragedy is obvious. There are people right now terrified that they can have it and can pass it on to someone and kill that person. There are people battling it right now who may not survive it. Yet, their sacrifice is not in vein. I think that everyone out there who is ill and those who are helping to take care of them is a hero. I have never really sat down and given thought to the levels of sacrifice, true bravery of human beings on such a scale. I have looked at many, many times in history where I have marveled at groups of people who have fought and died and individual people who have triumphed through immence pressures. I don't think that I have ever looked at every citizen on the planet that way until right now.

earlier post now posting

I write a lot. But so often I can find that I am learning about myself in the process. Having stepped back from a job that I had been doing for ten years feels rather strange. After wanting a moment to myself to think about my next steps for my personal work, I now have all of the time in the world. With all of that comes the pressure to do things for maximum gain in all directions. It is March already. The CoronaVirus has the entire world up in arms. Yet, we are all tasked with staying responsible to ourselves, our families and our professions. This situation has been a true leveler in terms of humanity looking at itself as one people, despite the racism to one group. We are all in this together, and we are confronting working differently on a perminant basis, possibly even really not being so inclined to consume as insanely as we have for the last thirty years... looking at appreciating what we have in our own countries for a change. Anyway, enough soapbox pontificating! I am now working out what I want to do every day with all of the projects that I have that I want to complete and I am very mucho excited about that. I am also terrified too. So this entry is just an ice breaker to say Hellooooo March, I am marching into the month with my head held high.