Tuesday, March 24, 2020
contemplations in a covid world
Two posts today....one of the things that I have been doing is finding some way to devise a schedule for myself. I am doing a free online class that i began yesterday for example and my mum and I may also do a Duolongo class in learning Mandarin.
I have been working on a book for a million years and my partner and I had shelved it for a year and we were just talking about starting it up again with the intentions of helping children in a home that he volanteers at, as a financial gesture to assist them with placement when they turn eighteen. Now that has stalled. However, I decided to contact two of the interviewees of the twenty that I have to speak with again. In so doing, I had to go onto Facebook to reach one of them. That person has the flashiest page and life. He knows celebrities, he is extremely wealthy from his work and he is both young and handsome and filled with life and has a really large personality. He's a nice person. I was vicariously watching a few of his images. I don't know why, but I always feel as though I am being a voyeur on Facebook. I cannot go through people's pictures. It just feels wrong to me....I feel as though I am rifling through someone's life without their permission. Lol. Anyway, I obviously saw a few of his images because I was on his page directly when I wrote to him...and I got sucked into his glamorous world and I asked myself, what is it about him that makes me feel a distance between my life and his? Am I jealous of his success? Is it that he has something that I want?
The answer that came to me was quite enlightening.
I heard myself respond that the reason I am looking at his page and considering what I was, is because I think that there is something I need to be doing in my own life.
BAM!
On further assessment, I realised that I DO NOT promote myself that way online. I have never posted images of the places I have been....travel is not novel to me. I don't take pictures of what I just ate. I don't have an online social life period, I find it absurd!I am not living for likes.
That satisfied me tremendously to get back to myself.
It is nice to visit others, but it is also nice to acknowledge the self.
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