The other side

I learned something so important tonight, and I feel a little sad about it. I completed the project with my cousin today, so I took the opportunity to speak with her about my sister. As I listened to my cousin it became clearer and clearer to me that it is so easy to only consider one side of a story. Listen too long and you think that it is the only story. Hearing her, her perspective sounded like my sisters, but standing from her vantage point, and I saw the struggles between them. The whole thing just sounded so out of proportion when my sister was getting louder and more aggitated. That was the first realisation that the conversation was not about her surface concerns. I am sad about all of this because of how many times I have focused on how I feel and not cared to consider the other person's perspective. I would state that I usually do do so, but there have been times when my way has been more important. There is no hard and fast rule. Of course you want to do as little harm as possible to another person, but you sometimes make mistakes, big and small. It is the wasted time that gets to me. My cousin was as balanced as she could be when giving me her views. Of course I think of my arguments with my ex-husband that got so far beyond the ability to resolve that shutting up and shutting down and eventually getting out was the only answer I could see. In the end, I just said to her that I would understand if she chose to do nothing about my sister at all. There is only so much anyone can do when they also feel that they have not been treated well. Two people with strong personalities stand on a playing field and they should be able to bring their best to the table. But sometimes one person gets wise to leaving the arena. It just is what it is.