Going back has helped

I may have mentioned awhile back that I was looking through a few old diaries of mine. Well, a few weeks on I can state that going back has rejuvinated going forward. I went back in time and eavesdropped on my much younger self.I remembered what those times meant to me... I recalled the way the horizon was before me, completely uncharted. In so doing, I know that the horizon is still very much there. I recalled my curiosity about my plans, goals and dreams.Again, they are still very much part of who I am. I am, I have, I became and continue to be becoming. What a relief that is to me. My past is not something I lament. Time has indeed smoothed over so many things that appeared only one way or that I have forgotten. Putting one foot in front of the other understanding what 'present' means in all its ways...today I feel a gentleness within me and I am grateful.

Future conversations with myself

Sometimes I have conversations with myself that feel as though I am having them with someone else. Such moments make me laugh and also take me way out of my comfort zone when I catch myself doing it. However, I will now state that those moments are opportunities to catch myself off guard where I am not "on" for the world, but on for myself. This week I had an unusual moment along those lines and I am going to try to see whther I can explain it. It was as though I went into an alternative universe for a moment. I felt a sort of out of body experience yet I was very aware that I was still where I was. Then it was as though someone was speaking to me and through me. I was wondering what was going on and I was also still enough to be patient and listen. I should have written this before, because I do not recall what it was that I heard. I will just state that I may have more of these experiences and the next time I shall write it down as soon as I can.