The radar

A friend of mine has been contacting me lately, and it has been for two reasons. It is a weird thing, but I cannot help but be aware of the fact that getting a little buzz with what I am doing is something that they suddenly want to rub shoulders with. Yes, we chat and we are reasonably good as tentative friends. She is skittish, I am skittish. We have been through things. She also wants to pick my brain. I question what I am doing where that is concerned. I write about this with difficulty because I feel like I am exposing a secret. But really I am hitting closest to home because I have been in this position before. Thus, who knows what kind of friend I am now? I cannot be a true friend when people choose me. When that happens, I have my back up. If I choose my friends, then, that is another situation entirely. It suggests positions of power and that word also does not sit well with me. However, the relationship we have is what it is, and I am writing now because the talk we had today was so transparent. But I cannot blame her. When one is a loner, the only way for others to know about what your doing is to say so to someone relevent to listen. What's always good about what she does is it encourages me to also take my own temperature about my own intentions. We live in a little bubble and we are always looking at the ooze of colours.