Doing what you want to do

Not having consistency in everything that you work at can make you think that your not really working, and your not really moving forward. However I no longer think that way. Being more strategic this year I have experienced a greater awareness and confidence by focusing differently. I am most satisfied by knowing that putting one foot in front of the other and actually acknowledging that it is a step and not being overtly ctitical of the effort has been very good. Another thing has been looking at that belief that I have had forever. The one that expects that no matter how hard I try things will not work out and that I am fooling myself...I have been able to finally dismantle that. That has been gigantic for me. I did it by being able to state not only'so what'but also to know that even if 'so what' produces the answer of so what being still on the edge of the old thoughtforms, I can now know that making mistakes are not so damn terrifying that I can't be ok. Mistakes get made anyway. This has been about how I see myself. How much I appreciate myself,how much I am my own friend...thoughts like that. I am such a cheering squad for others and have not been so much for myself, and I am slowly but surely coming around to how much more I can achieve with the mindset that I am creating. I read many years ago, enlightenment does not mean that your not going to feel pain. It means that you understand that it exists and that you can travel through it and be ok. The next thing, an offshoot of all of this is the ability to look again at things that otherwise I might have shrugged off in the past. It is like I can see more of the chessboard.