taking a different tact

An Artist friend I know once told me of how he came to realise that he could not do any other profession. He had found a vanilla delivery job that he had been holding down for some time. Then suddely one day he just could not do it another second. He said that he walked off the premises and never looked back. There is a very popular saying, 'do what you love...the money will follow'...that sounds great, but it is also important to note that as long as love is a job it doesn't mean that every day will be easy, fun or effortless. It just means that your attitude may not be as heavy on such days. For an extremely long time I have wanted to start something, and I have had all sorts of challenges to do so. I am at it again, and I am doing so from a different perspective...............................................................................................................................................another thing is going beyond observing energy. I am now interested as well in seeing the outcome to your own thoughts. The coincidences are just staggering and also poetic.I am truly humbled by their beauty. More to come.

tasting the vine

Already I am learning this year that just bbecause all of the actions of someone may lead to the accurate conclusion, it does not mean that my response need be definative.An example of this is with a colleague whom I can see is challenged by her new promoted state, so she has been playing the game really hard. I can get upset with her, and I did after she did something that was manipulative. I felt it and knew it and it factored into things that I put together from her past actions that now became amplified. However, to my surprise, I chose to acknowledge it, yet let it go because what I got from this was that I am to keep my focus on what I want to do for me. By taking the emphasis off of her, and focusing my intentions back to myself. I had a chance to forgive, forget and be mindful while being grateful for what in that moment seemed like a stumbling block. ..........................................................................the next important thing has been the deciding faster...the awareness of why I have procrastinated with things that matter most to me in the past, and how I am now in a space where I have confronted the reasons and become able to adjust instantly. I have for example known that I should follow up on a call, or get out of a comfort zone to get to something I want...and I hesitate and I take too long...that fear that I can get rejected had been huge. To face yet another no in my mind has made it easy to just be avoidant. It is also strange of me because for other things I do not face such a level of ambivilence at all. In fact I just don't see a problem. I am confident and that's all it takes. I love when I feel that way. When I do, even a rejection does not stall me. I have found that last year and these last twenty-five days, that sense of clarity is so sweet.

from new meetings to messy moments

My ex-husband is off the Iraq again. This time he is going under very different circumstances. Iran has had some air strikes against both Syria and Iraq and of course I am very concerned for his safety. I am back in his apartment again after twenty something days of his returning and doing his best to change the arrangement. Our daughter turns eighteen in five months and he shall be returning after she hits that important date. So we both believe that his wanting her to all of a sudden stay with me has very much to do with the fact that she may not return to his house when he gets back. All of the speculation and uncertainty was made worse by the news of the strikes, but my daughter is doing as well as she can with all of this upheavel. Our house guests have now been at my mothers' for ten days, and still they have not had a proper conversation about payment. But mom is taking this in stride. Then to crown it all, our guests are at odds with each other, or I should state, she is at war with him. He acts pretty neutral to her constant nitpicking, poking and complaining. It is a hell of a thing to witness. Amidst all of that, the Performance Artist and Academic who has been interested in my work for some time, visited me and we have discovered that we are basically kindred spirits with a great deal of things. When she visited me, we had an absolutely great time. Then, I decided this year to take the suggestions of the Gallerist and prepare work way in advance for his show this carnival, and I have completed five pieces. I am also not working for the new semester after being promised by the co-ordinator. I shall take what I have been given as an opportunity to do other things, as I have a design project to do along with a slew of other things. Most of all, I am all about getting paid for the efforts every time, because I have concluded that I love all of the things that I do. I just do not like the fact that quite a few of them do not yeild any financial security and that needs to change right now. Best of all, I have plans regarding changing that.

banging

The fireworks usually promote lots of joy and mark the new year. Imagine getting up on the first of the year to find out about an earthquake in japan. Then to be told by my mum that her colleague has passed away in her sleep and then my neice calls to let us know that our former Prime Minister has also passed away. Twenty-twenty four seems to be moving at lightening speed. Lets hope we have the energy to keep up and be strong and get all that we want to get achieved in equally record time! Sheesh!