having a think

I am having a birthday milestone in a few days.I haven't felt so excited about one in decades...lol. I cannot explain why, other than to state that gratitude comes to mind. I look back and miss so many people I thought would still be here. I consider paths I have walked and not walked.I think that at my age now, many aspects of what I focused on has changed. It has been subtle. The shifts are sometimes so small, you dont recognise it. Motion capture imagery comes to mind. I also nestle into the notion of the way in which one thinks of ones life as it passes before your eyes. I feel the experiences, the combination of emotions that went through me in those moments and before you know it, you are recalling recent moments and bypassing them into future moments desired and the thing that stays with me is that in ones sense of planning, there is a feeling of agelessness. If you reach for what emotions come from this, I consider the desire to be confident, hopeful and happy. I thonk that that is a wonderful barometre for stepping forward and going into the unknown.