It's been awhile

So much has happened and I have neglected this page.When I returned from New York after a very hectic time. The best part of it was travelling with my daughter. Also,as travel does, it provided me with fresh perspective. Things that I would not have experienced and thoughts that insued because of it has been such a boon to me. As the year draws to a close, I feel lighter and happier, excited and thensome. I am filled with gratitude after so much tumult. From my sister feeling that I had deliberately not spent any time with her, although I went out of my way to do so by arriving two days earlier than my planned location for most of our stay in New York. I rally felt stretched beyond capacity with so much of what happened, from a cashless campus and my per diem ending up being part of my payment after I got back home - to scraping the bottom of my financial barrel to do the simplest things. Fortunately I was able to quiet myself and do my best to not run off the rails and when I did, it was privately and for short bursts that made it necessary to vent. Sheesh! But also, there was so much beauty to observe. I saw a Blue Jay one day and marvelled at its color. The gardens were a constant delight and many of the buildings and experiences are special memories. I have to state that during the worst times there are moments that can transcend the ick.

rainy, rainy Tuesday

The weather yet again is dramatic on the one evening when I have a class. The opportunity to also do this online is more glaring than ever! Anyway, I am fortunately at home and actually typing from my bed and half under my quilt. That can be called luxuriating. So there. It is September and when I think about all that I did so far, I feel a bit dizzy. I have not been satisfied by any means about what I have found myself doing, but I am amazed at all of the efforts. Moving on on now, I am determined to get the things I set out to do for myself accomplished in the next few months ahead and into next year.

Looking up

The whole visa thing is still in play, but things are getting better. I have learned a lot from the experience. For one thing I was put in a position where I just could not stay in frustration.I had to find other things to focus on because I was feeling really overwhelmed and it seemed as though I was just wallowing in the worst feelings. When I did that, not only was I less oppressed, but I saw how quickly the shift helped me be more productive. I appreciate that.I had a moment where just as one would experience rain falling on only half of a place, that is closest to what it seemed to be. I may not always be able to shift quickly, but I think that that I shall be able to do it, and I believe also that that is what Buddhists and meditation and spirituality is all about.

and so it is

Yet again, the whole visa thing is so head shaking. A few years ago my mother got a gift of a salmon colored salt lamp. They were all the rage. At one point I did not know anyone who did not have one. This lamp was placed where my fathers ashes now stand. Its a little nook that is quite attractive. There is a small drawer and we put our passports there.Well, at that time, who would think that the salt lamp would melt slowly and seep into the drawer and my passport would be collateral damage. I travelled with my salty passport, but now that I need a new US visa,my passport is considered unfit for use. I had no idea that that was the case when I had my interview at the embassy. But a few days later I get an email telling me that very thing. I then check online to see the wait time to getting a new passport. I have to make an appointment to do so. I get all sorts of challenge again to make this appointment only to finally see that the next open time to apply for my passport is in November 2025!YES! NOVEMBER! What the hell! No way! I am supposed to travel to New York in late September. When things like this happen, what can I do but surrender. I have been trying to get my US visa since the 28th of March! Every possible online quagmire that could happen has happened.

No Independence Day Parade in an SOE

The island is very disappointed.

the event horizon

So much is going on, so much. The first thing is that my daughter got her eight o'levels. She is so releaved and I am so happy for her. Particularly as she went through so much. What a hectic year and a half she has dealt with and we have gone through together.I am very proud of her perseverence through all things. I am also moving in new directions, and I am doing so with the gusto of excitment that comes with it. Of course in moving in a certain way, there is sometimes a bit of lament about what was. However,I think that that is to be expected.

Post Emancipation

Frustration abounds with getting my US Visa. But to write about it here shall do no good.I prefer to write about other things instead. Now that Emancipation, now called Black Emancipation Day, I realise that criticising the way that the celebration is handled is pointless. I have an opportunity to do some work on it. All of this goes back to my deciding so many years ago about using our cultural calendar as an opportunity to jog ideas and concepts. This keeps going around in circles. Whenever that happens, it is pretty clear that I am on that pathway.