Wonky affair

I know that I go back and forth with this issue. God, I know it. But today I feel the other way again, and I want to write it here and I want to do my best to make it permanent for me. Frequent flyers birthday was yesterday, and he had had a bad day, lots of work, and we still managed to chat. Fine. Then today he gives me all of the details of his upset. It turns out that he had planned on spending time with his kids and miscalculated his vacation, so naturally he is out of sorts. Ok...all normal, and I would feel frustrated about that too. Here's my thing, what the hell am I doing? This man sends me too many mixed or I would even say complicated signals, and I just think that I should continue to be his friend and NOT expect anything else from him. I will feel much more comfortable doing that, and NO, it is not because I am afraid of commitment. It is because I cannot for the life of me tell what the hell he wants? Nor do I believe that I should try to understand it either, at this time. When I was in my twenties dating my soon to be husband, my father used to tell us that one of us had to have their head on their shoulders. I now understand this fully. Sure it would be nice to have this man's love, affection and attention. But suppose he cannot actually deliver anything I would like? I already do not get to see him in person, we have a virtual friendship, and that is nice. But he takes it further. I cannot even get an opportunity to have a proper long assed conversation with him, where I can iron out some of my misgivings, because when I can, one of us usually does not have the time. This is all very frustrating to me. I do not think that it is worth it. He is looking more and more to me like a once upon a time....and could have been...but it isn't now ...kind of issue. It won't hurt to stay friends. After all, he has given me no real sign that he is pursuing me, not truly....it's not like he has gone out of his way to buy me a plane ticket or booked a romantic weekend to be with me. So, there you have it. That is how I feel about whatever the hell this thing professed to be. It isn't the first time that I have drawn a line. But god, I hope that it is the last time. I cannot keep getting thrown into his path all of the time, wanting to think that it is something that it isn't. Other than a horny friend needing comfort, and for that, I will have to draw the line at friend. No perks.