Bitter and sweet

My first bf called me on the 19th to tell me that our dear friend, his best friend since they were about seven years old, had died in a var accident. I had known him since I was fifteen. Last year he and I hung out for the first time without former bf , and I had felt as though he had wanted to reach out to me. He told me a great deal about his life, his plans, his hopes and dreams. It was an unusual and quite nice meeting. He kept in touch with me from time to time, always interested in me and what was going on. He was a really great guy. My former bf is doing what he can to plan the funeral and act stoic, but I know that he is hurting very deeply. I have been through that myself, and I believe for him, it is the first of his oldest friends to go. ...... Meanwhile today, the " last day of the Mayan calendar and the END of the World" was also our deadline to give in our thesis project. Much to my dismay, I was still working on it up to the final second to give it in. Not where I wanted to be at all. But it could not be helped. I created one hundred booklets and boxes for an annual event for my mother over a two day period for her deadline of December 20th, so I was really pushing it. Naturally, I would have preferred a full day to look over the document and be certain that it was thorough as it could be, but it was not to be. It turned out to be quite beautiful.I have much for which to be grateful,and I am now planning how I want to launch my business for real. ....... On yet another note, FF contacted me and informed me that he will no longer be doing the frequent flyer thing, as he decided not to renew his contract. I told him that I would support any choice he made, as I completely believe in his sound judgement..meaning, if he changed his mind, it would not make me think of him in less regard. When I told him that, I felt something shift between us.he has since been sending me lots of texts with smiley faces...lol. I probably passed some male/female test of his! I have not found that in his character. But you never know. ........... I am exhausted and wired tonight, so much work and rushing, and juggling everything in my life this year. So much still to get done...but I need a good nights sleep and then I shall think about it all.