suddenly it is clear

For months and months I have been fighting my heart. Finally, I read a quote from Osho that set me straight. Don't allow the fear to overpower you. Allow LOVE to overpower you. Love comes from the CENTRE. Fear always comes from the periphery; don't allow this perifary to be dominant. That says so much to me. Waw!!!! I have been behaving as though I cannot trust my own good feelings. It is clear why I have been doing that. I have not actually thought about how certain feelings would impact me. I have been so caught up with feeling awkward and not wanting to do something wrong because I feel so happy, that I have been driving myself crazy instead. What Osho is telling me with that statement is that I shouldn't worry about what I feel. What I feel is to be felt and expressed, and I shouldn't hold it in because I may be rejected or embarrassed or whatever. To feel that way would mean that I expect that love is happening outside of myself and that I have expectations. Of course I have expectations. But I didn't think that I deserve my expectations...or perhaps I think that they can only end badly, so why venture? There are no guarantees, and no one should think that they can ultimately give me one. That shouldn't be what a relationship is about. Life goes on. I am love again, always have been. I am putting one foot in front of the other, and I am very much here and now.