gather no moss

This week Fashion Designer Kate Spade and Chef, Anthony Bourdain committed suicide. It was shocking. These two powerhouses in their field obviously seemed to be at the top of their game. One wonders when things like this happens, the belief is that everyone thrives for a fraction of the amazing success of such people. So when those who appear to do so well fall apart, it is mind-boggling. But the reality is that feeling low has nothing to do with money or success. This year I have had my moments when I have felt hopeless. Nothing outwardly proved what was going on inside my mind. For me the only way to combat it,is to know that I can focus my attention away from what pains me. It doesn't always work. From somewhere deep inside , if you push and poke, if you can, you can eventually sense that it is but a moment. the next moment doesn't have to be equally bad, or the next and next...but it takes will and faith and hope that somewhere along the way, better will come. Sometimes the better is tiny. It is incremental. It may even not be what you want. But you hold on to that ray of hope like its oxygen your breathing into your lungs. When suicides like those very famous ones happen,I wonder about the lives. Anthony Bourdain would have heard about Kate Spade. When people are at their lowest, who knows what people are dealing with? It also reminds you to be grateful. There you may be, thinking the worst yourself, but somehow, you don't feel the way those who make the choices do. Today on the train there was an agitated man who was cursing about his relationship gone wrong. It was a reminder to how much we believe the things we experience so completely. It is so easy to get very caught up in your feelings. You want something to be a certain way, but you don't always get what you want...you get what you need 'The Rolling Stones."