the cloud

I am on vacation and it feels so weird to not be running around this time. Being here gives me a little perspective. Having the opportunity to step away from the things that concern me, I now remember that although I may want some things to go a certain way,that I may be so fortunate to not have my life tangled up in directions that do not serve me. I have always felt that way, but in the last year I did not feel that way at all. I wanted to push and manipulate something to my will, and not for anything would my efforts pay off. This led me to feel great doubt and to soul search. I wondered privately what was I not doing? Or what was it that I did that was wrong? However, ultimately, my experiences tell me that when things do not work out as I would like, I can look at what IS actually going on that I am controlling in my life now. So, for example, I may feel that I am not having certain financial improvements. I may think that it is preventing me from starting a venture that I hoped to focus on to be able to make decisions to shift from one place to another. But something inexplicable curtails the plan. It may mean that I should push harder? But sometimes it means that I have to re-evaluate my plans. I will never forget the story the Architect Zaha Hadid told about her early work. She won a prestigious contest and expected that it would lead to her first building being built. But then it didn't happen for years. She was devastated. Then she decided to re-structure her company. That decision led to a much better approach when the real jobs she wanted came her way. I have never forgotten about that. It is also clear to me that sometimes you can't see any good in the stall, or in what seems like a perminantly bad situation. I would write that you just have to evaluate how to make the best out of what you are faced with, and that's that.