and then things changed

My mom fell and fractured her hip. She was in hospital having surgery when one of my dear freind's husband called to tell me that she was on life support. She died the next day after my mom had her surgery. This was so unexpected, devastating news!It has been two days and I am reeling from thinking about how sudden this was. My mom falling was alot and then that was just like removing the ground from under an already shaky foundation. She had been going through a lot in the last few yeards. But she was doing better. She had to come to terms with changing up a huge chunk of her life after having a steady marriage for what should have been forever. But then everything just went pear shaped for them. She was dealing with his addictions after he had steared a safe ship for decades. She felt guilt about how much they were their for each other and how much he had made her life so much better. It had been a good run for them. But as many marriages go, it became a little shaky and she was the one who appeared to have shaken that tree at first. They had seperated and he was devastated, but he found someone in quick stride for a bit. I think that was just a couple of months before they tried again and everything was good. Then he went completely astray and she was dealing with that alone for awhile before she told me. She was deeply apolagetic about the way that she took sides and made light of my situation when I was getting divorced. In fact, she even took my ex-husband's side because I had introduced him to them and he lived with them for a year or two as well. Somehow, although that disappointed me, I think that because I was going through so much, what was directly happening to me was so all encompassing that I couldn't take on what anyone else thought. I appreciated her telling me sorry and she did this more than once. Everything was right again. It hurt to know that she was now facing her own trials, and I did not suggest that she divorce, but I did tell her why I would divorcse and what my experiences were. When we last spoke she was finally considering leaving for good, as he refused to go for any type of councelling after many tries where he even charmed his way out of any good program for addicts. He was out of the house more than he was in and she felt very lonely and disillusioned. But then they were back in the country together here, and he was better, but she was clearly gentle parenting and sometimes ruthless with her comments to him It was hard to look at. Particularly when she was rapidly losing weight and he was not.Yet, to me he was in good spirits in front of me. I was of course filled with the knowledge of otherwise from her. All of this gets me so sad, I feel my heart breaking for this outcome. I will take time to come to terms with it all.