Something I said to a friend of mine today has resonated with me, for me.
Life is an illusion, so you better make your illusion good for you.
Sometimes I think that it takes so long to learn what is necessary, that by the time the information comes, it may be too late. But I also know better. If you really want certain things in your life, you set them out mentally first.
We had a really good talk. We had not had a true heart to heart in some time. We have both been extremely busy, and although we try to talk every few days, sometimes things get the better of us.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
The world is still good
In many ways, since I was a child, I have found that as I got older, many aspects of life seemed to get worse. I remember very, very little crime on my island. I remember feeling very safe to play outside.
The economic downturn has made me look at what has been good about the world, and the sense of entitlement that most of us feel. Thinking differently has met us and we cannot turn back to old ways anymore.
What would have happened if most of us were happy with the first cellphone model, or the first computer? Naturally we all want to do better, look better, get better. No one can put the Genie back in the bottle. But I could not help but wonder about the things that one thinks is needed to have a good life.
When I was in my twenties, I made a list of the things that I would need to have my own home. If I made a list of twenty things, eighteen of them were appliances and high technology. I remember being quite stunned about that.
I remember looking at the list and finding it very unfortunate that after a bed, chairs,stove, everything else looked like things you could not do without...yet once, obviously, we did do without.
I think that it was then that I began to look at all of the consumer things that we all feel we just must have! We must have them, now!
This year I looked at my own money, realising more acutely that you must put a price on how much you spend in a month, months and a year. Then you look at it all over again in another year. You find yourself spending much more than you realise, and you feel bad when you decide not to buy that magazine, but you go ahead and buy the dress.
Also, you can spend your money much faster then you can make it last, if you do not become cognizant that.
But as I stated before, I have been looking at life a bit differently lately. You want certain things, and ultimately you want to be happy.
But you know that being happy isn't necessarily about money. It is giving my little one a piggy back, or walking with her in the garden. That makes me very happy.
Happy is knowing that I can have a lovely house, but filling it with the laughter of friends makes it a home.
So much happiness gets compromised because of all the work to get the time to 'be' happy.
When do we finally get off the treadmill?
What do we really want?
Do we even understand it when we get it?
This was my problem with my ex-husband. I found that he never seemed to exhale and be happy. he was always finding something worthy of delaying satisfaction for. He claimed that he was happy, until that fateful day when he finally looked at me and said that he was unhappy.
I look at people in their cars, and walking with their children or lovers, and what is this world? What is this life? So much of it is routine and what do we really think we feel, or want to feel?
What is happiness when that day lasts and lasts for more than a few hours?
I want to come back to this thought again very soon. I have much more to say, but for now, I shall end here.
In many ways, since I was a child, I have found that as I got older, many aspects of life seemed to get worse. I remember very, very little crime on my island. I remember feeling very safe to play outside.
The economic downturn has made me look at what has been good about the world, and the sense of entitlement that most of us feel. Thinking differently has met us and we cannot turn back to old ways anymore.
What would have happened if most of us were happy with the first cellphone model, or the first computer? Naturally we all want to do better, look better, get better. No one can put the Genie back in the bottle. But I could not help but wonder about the things that one thinks is needed to have a good life.
When I was in my twenties, I made a list of the things that I would need to have my own home. If I made a list of twenty things, eighteen of them were appliances and high technology. I remember being quite stunned about that.
I remember looking at the list and finding it very unfortunate that after a bed, chairs,stove, everything else looked like things you could not do without...yet once, obviously, we did do without.
I think that it was then that I began to look at all of the consumer things that we all feel we just must have! We must have them, now!
This year I looked at my own money, realising more acutely that you must put a price on how much you spend in a month, months and a year. Then you look at it all over again in another year. You find yourself spending much more than you realise, and you feel bad when you decide not to buy that magazine, but you go ahead and buy the dress.
Also, you can spend your money much faster then you can make it last, if you do not become cognizant that.
But as I stated before, I have been looking at life a bit differently lately. You want certain things, and ultimately you want to be happy.
But you know that being happy isn't necessarily about money. It is giving my little one a piggy back, or walking with her in the garden. That makes me very happy.
Happy is knowing that I can have a lovely house, but filling it with the laughter of friends makes it a home.
So much happiness gets compromised because of all the work to get the time to 'be' happy.
When do we finally get off the treadmill?
What do we really want?
Do we even understand it when we get it?
This was my problem with my ex-husband. I found that he never seemed to exhale and be happy. he was always finding something worthy of delaying satisfaction for. He claimed that he was happy, until that fateful day when he finally looked at me and said that he was unhappy.
I look at people in their cars, and walking with their children or lovers, and what is this world? What is this life? So much of it is routine and what do we really think we feel, or want to feel?
What is happiness when that day lasts and lasts for more than a few hours?
I want to come back to this thought again very soon. I have much more to say, but for now, I shall end here.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
LOVE is the answer
Last night, the third debate between Senator Obama and Senator McCain had an unexpected energizing effect on me. The words of Senator Obama, the confidence he expoused to the American people, made me think and moreso, see that confidence is a large part of being able to move forward in uncertain times.
You do need to rally people around you who are of like mind, and with cold, hard facts and a bit of creative thinking and determination, you can actually see your way.
This morning, my plans have more certainty for me. I have marked 2012 as the date for me to have the home that I want. That date has actually helped me to feel an optimism that was not there before. I can now plan with much more certainty. I can get a sense of what it would cost, icluding the fact that I also need a car. A number of things have actually now alighned themselves in a way that i do not feel anxious about them. In the past I would have started putting down in my mind a number of possible road blocks on my way to my goal. But now, I can think about my plans without sabotaging them.
Lately I find that I have been looking more analytically at the challenges that come to me, from the standpoint of "what is the blessing here?" How can this moment that appears negative be actually beneficial for me?
Doing that helps put many things into a better perspective and reminds me not to take life too seriously. There is so much more to be thankful for than not, that it would be extremely stupid to spend my life wishing I could have done better, when better is a day to day process.
I feel alot of love.
Last night, the third debate between Senator Obama and Senator McCain had an unexpected energizing effect on me. The words of Senator Obama, the confidence he expoused to the American people, made me think and moreso, see that confidence is a large part of being able to move forward in uncertain times.
You do need to rally people around you who are of like mind, and with cold, hard facts and a bit of creative thinking and determination, you can actually see your way.
This morning, my plans have more certainty for me. I have marked 2012 as the date for me to have the home that I want. That date has actually helped me to feel an optimism that was not there before. I can now plan with much more certainty. I can get a sense of what it would cost, icluding the fact that I also need a car. A number of things have actually now alighned themselves in a way that i do not feel anxious about them. In the past I would have started putting down in my mind a number of possible road blocks on my way to my goal. But now, I can think about my plans without sabotaging them.
Lately I find that I have been looking more analytically at the challenges that come to me, from the standpoint of "what is the blessing here?" How can this moment that appears negative be actually beneficial for me?
Doing that helps put many things into a better perspective and reminds me not to take life too seriously. There is so much more to be thankful for than not, that it would be extremely stupid to spend my life wishing I could have done better, when better is a day to day process.
I feel alot of love.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
my own take on my finances
When I was leaving high school for the real world of work, there was a recession. Then when I was leaving college for the real world of work, there was another one. You never forget them. In fact they unwittingly inform your life forever.
It makes you very cautious. It also makes you feel that when there is money, that you have some entitlements. So you have the tendency to say that you want some things like a spoilt child.
In my life, I have lived with my parents more than once. I was thinking about that last night. I have been in situations where I have had no job, and had to rely on others.
I realise that I have spent much of my adult life not expecting much for my effort because of the financial challenges that I have faced. I have been on the ground floor with businesses where I did not see a profit.
Now, I have been reading about money much more over the last few years, and I have seen my investments work for me during my divorce. So I know that I am a very good saver, and I can make things happen for myself.
I have come a long way from feeling that I would not have anything, to doing very well, to starting over. I have been able to look at money differently, and it took some doing. But I was able to do it.
Today I make plans and I make arrangements for where my money should go on a consistent basis. I read the fine print and I ask the relevant questions.
Before I had to spend my money on a lawyer and on relocating, I had planned on shifting some of my diversified portfolio. All of my money can be tapped at a moments notice.
Today, my money isn't what it was at the beginning of the year, but I have a plan of action about it in the next several months and years to come.
One very good thing is that I do not have very pressing needs. One cannot avoid spending money, and I know that my tastes can be high where food is concerned. I spend on that, and on my little one.
Of course I think about getting a car and having a house, and I am looking at what those things shall cost me.
I am also looking at other ways to make money too, so that saving can be accelerated.
Overall, I am being proactive and thinking about how to make things happen for myself, and I know that this is a long distance race and not a sprint finish.
I have a good attitude about it all, and ultimately I am doing everything that I am doing for my daughter to be comfortable in her life, with comfort in mine as well.
In the next few months I shall be looking at ways to invest a little bit of my money, say ten thousand dollars, diversified in a few high yeild funds. Funds that may now have to adjust themselves because of the world economic crisis.
I had thought that I should have invested at the time that I got a small windfall of money, but now I think that I was very fortunate to not have done that as yet, and instead done some homework on all of the funds.
Now that no one knows where the bottom is, and we are unsure about what will happen next, it is important to have some patience.
When I was leaving high school for the real world of work, there was a recession. Then when I was leaving college for the real world of work, there was another one. You never forget them. In fact they unwittingly inform your life forever.
It makes you very cautious. It also makes you feel that when there is money, that you have some entitlements. So you have the tendency to say that you want some things like a spoilt child.
In my life, I have lived with my parents more than once. I was thinking about that last night. I have been in situations where I have had no job, and had to rely on others.
I realise that I have spent much of my adult life not expecting much for my effort because of the financial challenges that I have faced. I have been on the ground floor with businesses where I did not see a profit.
Now, I have been reading about money much more over the last few years, and I have seen my investments work for me during my divorce. So I know that I am a very good saver, and I can make things happen for myself.
I have come a long way from feeling that I would not have anything, to doing very well, to starting over. I have been able to look at money differently, and it took some doing. But I was able to do it.
Today I make plans and I make arrangements for where my money should go on a consistent basis. I read the fine print and I ask the relevant questions.
Before I had to spend my money on a lawyer and on relocating, I had planned on shifting some of my diversified portfolio. All of my money can be tapped at a moments notice.
Today, my money isn't what it was at the beginning of the year, but I have a plan of action about it in the next several months and years to come.
One very good thing is that I do not have very pressing needs. One cannot avoid spending money, and I know that my tastes can be high where food is concerned. I spend on that, and on my little one.
Of course I think about getting a car and having a house, and I am looking at what those things shall cost me.
I am also looking at other ways to make money too, so that saving can be accelerated.
Overall, I am being proactive and thinking about how to make things happen for myself, and I know that this is a long distance race and not a sprint finish.
I have a good attitude about it all, and ultimately I am doing everything that I am doing for my daughter to be comfortable in her life, with comfort in mine as well.
In the next few months I shall be looking at ways to invest a little bit of my money, say ten thousand dollars, diversified in a few high yeild funds. Funds that may now have to adjust themselves because of the world economic crisis.
I had thought that I should have invested at the time that I got a small windfall of money, but now I think that I was very fortunate to not have done that as yet, and instead done some homework on all of the funds.
Now that no one knows where the bottom is, and we are unsure about what will happen next, it is important to have some patience.
Friday, October 10, 2008
The financial global crisis is so unfathomable, and is imploding so fast that from one moment to the next , it is difficult to know just how to react to it. Every hour CNN keeps reporting another meltdown.
Yet, this is also a time, as someone on BBC radio put it, to...
* have your wits about you.
*project an air of strength
* be able to project a sense of confidence and an understanding that "this too shall pass"
* Act decisively
I was very happy to hear that. It is also a guide for life. It is inaction, panic, fear and rage that keeps you stuck when everything seems to be careening out of wack. It is so necessary to see it for what it is, even if it is happening to you very directly and you do not know what to do. You have to find it inside yourself to know with certainty that you can and will go on.
What is difficult is getting past the raw feelings that take you into a whirlwind of emotions. You feel stuck, you fel paralyzed to act. Then when you do, you feel out of control and scared to make mistakes, so then you do exactly that.
This is important to know how to really act, because these things come at you when you expect it least.
Yet, this is also a time, as someone on BBC radio put it, to...
* have your wits about you.
*project an air of strength
* be able to project a sense of confidence and an understanding that "this too shall pass"
* Act decisively
I was very happy to hear that. It is also a guide for life. It is inaction, panic, fear and rage that keeps you stuck when everything seems to be careening out of wack. It is so necessary to see it for what it is, even if it is happening to you very directly and you do not know what to do. You have to find it inside yourself to know with certainty that you can and will go on.
What is difficult is getting past the raw feelings that take you into a whirlwind of emotions. You feel stuck, you fel paralyzed to act. Then when you do, you feel out of control and scared to make mistakes, so then you do exactly that.
This is important to know how to really act, because these things come at you when you expect it least.
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