More cohesive than others

I have decided that I shall take full advantage of the moments when I feel optimistic. Those moments feel as though I am invincible. I feel that every idea can be accomplished and every stumbling block in my way is but a pebble.
I like feeling this way, and I think that I have longer periods of optimism than not. However, I am not fully there, and I am not certain that anyone ever gets there other than Buddhist monks and Sufi clerics. But it doesn't hurt to try.
The confidence that I feel today is one where I see a great deal of my work complete, I feel that I am definately moving towards the direction I need to go to move on with my life, and I even feel that I can solve the more immediate issues that I dealt with this week.

What a week, my little one was ill and in hospital, and I had a number of issues to deal with. Of late I have been asking at every situation that I come across, tell me what I am to learn. This new habit has made circumstances easier for me.
In the next week, I want to get the things that I have been planning, accomplished, or at least started.
I have not been one hundred percent myself. But that is expected because I have been dealing with my little one.

Realisation

There is nothing like coming to an understanding about some things in your life. The funny thing is that they are not particularly remarkable. They are sometimes truisms that you have heard for many years. But when you finally GET it, it is serendipitous.
For me, it is the decision last week to literally say in my mind that 'I am starting over,' doing this, I now find myself able to embrace my decisions like never before.
Why this is different than before, is in the way that I am thinking. I am not making decisions based on what I think I shall like. I am great at making long lists of things that I need to do. But this time, what I am feeling is a sense of myself as the maker of these decisions with the intention of moving forward with my child.
What is wonderful too, is the assurance and confidence I feel about this.
In the past I have been unsure about which direction to take. But now, I say to myself, whatever you do not know, get expert advice, but it it ultimately MY decision to make. That makes me feel very positive for a change.
This is a big deal for me, because at one point in my life I was afraid to make the wrong decision and I let other people's opinion overshadow my own.
I always thought that I was simply agreeing with their opinion, and found that opinion sound, but really I was giving up some of my responsibility and my view, bit by bit. I can see this now, and I am not going back in that direction again.

My latest work

In the next few weeks I shall be making much bigger stuff than I ever have before and that is very exciting. Also my mother shall be out of the country,so my aunt and I want to use that time to get rid of a great deal of crap that she has had clogging up all of the rooms of the house. This is not something that I would usually want to talk about, far less write about, but I want to do so here because it is a big deal to do this. My mother has been complaining about the house like a stuck record.So, now that she shall be away for two weeks, we have the opportunity to do the things that she should be doing but will not do.
On a brighter note, and pertaining to me, my work has me very jazzed to see something made from scratch. I have no idea how I am going to get some of it actually made in the areas I have planned, but I am more interested in getting them done. I see it as at least a dress rehearsal for even bigger opportunities in the future. The good planning of this project can make it a yearly activity. It has the scope of being something that can help people, and that is always a great thing.

Expected results

It could not have been better planned. My cousin wrote me a very disgruntled email about his book. He assumed that I had no intention of doing it. So his letter was filled with disappointment. Little did he know that not only was it finished, he would get it the very next day!
I loved springing this surprise on him! It went way better than I could have planned it.
When he called me he was over the moon, extatic! He told me it made him cry. He was so moved by every single page. He kept looking at it, wondering whether I might have left out anything he would like to add, and he could find nothing.
Then to add to the wonderful mood of the whole thing, my little one kept looking at the book herself, that she kept pressing the keypad of this computer to see the book back and front. She then told me that,and I quote, "found the book very beautiful."
Now that's a great endorcement if I ever heard one.
One one more note, she finally gor the hang of going to the potty. So that was the big surprise for my mother's birthday!
Smiles abound.

The book that I was working on is finally finished. I only need to give it a last look and add some things that I may include because they will create greater interest of the page. This project took from the end of my show to today, which also happens to be Eid-ul-Fitr and a holiday.
After this work is posted off, I need to turn my attention to my embroidery pieces that need to be shipped to London for a show there.
Then there is the large installation piece that I must do for November.
I love all of this creative activity. The book has actually also encouraged me to look at some older work that I have shelved some time ago. But I shall not focus too much on them until the bigger projects are well and on their way in terms of finish, In other words, those books shall be worked on in my leisure time.

The latest with me...

Gosh, ever since I finished my show I have continued to work. I am very happy with what I am doing. As I work, my focus becomes more and more pronounced. So much has happened, and I wish that I could write it here. But this really isn't the place for once. Let me just state that I have a new consciousness regarding what I want to do and where I want to go. I have finally been able to be much, much more concentrated in my thinking. My focus has become more laser sharp. I now ask for what I want right away. There is absolutely nothing to compare to getting clear.

How did it happened? Through a series of mystical events. Sounds really provocative...and it is. This makes me laugh,because I know that when I read this back later, I am going to know that I teased myself.
Hilarious.

I shall have many fabulous things to report very, very soon.