Today with all of the cleaning up going on in the house, I found an old story that I wrote. What is weird is that I had no memory of it. I had a vague inkling of the name, but not the story. But then as I began to read it, I realised what it was about, and I am amazed at myself for it. It is a play, unfinished and a good theme.
I wrote it between 1987 to perhaps 1991. It is a story of the complexities of sexuality in young adults. It is about four friends and their convoluted lives. I did not write very much, but I did do a complete treatment of what it would read like, and as happens sometimes, I wish that I had pursued it. It was pretty strong for its time!
I may write out some of it here at some point, because I am actually impressed with it.
I might even finish it.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine
I have not written in awhile. I actually have nothing pressing to write, but I just wanted to come to this blog this afternoon. Of late I have been listening more to the silence. I have read some great books on spirituality, and I am just going with the flow.
One of the things that I have started to do, is to get more acquainted with my feelings about things that I probably no longer really articulate. For example, over the years I have written a million lists on the type of home I want. But now, my contemplations are about actually being in a space right now, actually focused on how it feels to have the things I believe I need and want. So it is actually less about collecting things, although it can be. It is about acquainting myself again with anything that helps me to see that I have plans, focus and just love inside me, for me.
It all probably sounds kinda silly the way that I am putting it across, but it is working well for me.
When I was much younger and did not know what life could be like, I used to speculate on the things I wanted to experience. I still do, but they seem to be things that I do not set in motion.
This year, I want to change that.
I am doing this from simple things...like, I need to buy myself some perfume and I also need a whole new supply of underwear which includes nighties. To the bigger things,.for example, although I have worried about money in the past, I have planned on putting some money aside every time I get paid. This money shall go into some form of savings. No matter how small it may seem. I am starting to do this again.
Saying these things just feel great. I feel good about moving forward in this manner.
One of the things that I have started to do, is to get more acquainted with my feelings about things that I probably no longer really articulate. For example, over the years I have written a million lists on the type of home I want. But now, my contemplations are about actually being in a space right now, actually focused on how it feels to have the things I believe I need and want. So it is actually less about collecting things, although it can be. It is about acquainting myself again with anything that helps me to see that I have plans, focus and just love inside me, for me.
It all probably sounds kinda silly the way that I am putting it across, but it is working well for me.
When I was much younger and did not know what life could be like, I used to speculate on the things I wanted to experience. I still do, but they seem to be things that I do not set in motion.
This year, I want to change that.
I am doing this from simple things...like, I need to buy myself some perfume and I also need a whole new supply of underwear which includes nighties. To the bigger things,.for example, although I have worried about money in the past, I have planned on putting some money aside every time I get paid. This money shall go into some form of savings. No matter how small it may seem. I am starting to do this again.
Saying these things just feel great. I feel good about moving forward in this manner.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
took my mind for a walk
Today I followed through on a thought that occurred to me out of the blue. What would happen if I just followed the guide in my head? What I mean by this specifically is, suppose I erased my hard wireing and decided to say to myself, I shall defy whatever I think limits me?
What would this look like?
For starters, I would stop thinking that I cannot do something because I do not have the money or the opportunity, or the time or the drive.
This got me excited.
I continued to think about it. Allow your thoughts to run along without looking at the usual excuses that keep you back. (However this is not about stating things from a place of dreaming, this is actually allowing paths to open based on this thinking) for example, my first thought was on the idea I recently got for a project but had to stall. I said to myself, start doing those drawings on that new project that you have in mind, and when the money arrives, buy the materials and get the project done.
Act all of the time towards aquiring your goals. A way will be found and/or made.
The attitude is everything. Act from a place of knowing that everything you want to create can and will happen according to the nature of things.
Thinking this way certainly feels better than the alternative.
Sometimes you yourself are the problem because you are only looking at something from one perspective and that perspective is limiting. I think that from now on, when I focus on something, my objective is to then ask, now, show me how to get to the next step, and I am taking it NOW.
What would this look like?
For starters, I would stop thinking that I cannot do something because I do not have the money or the opportunity, or the time or the drive.
This got me excited.
I continued to think about it. Allow your thoughts to run along without looking at the usual excuses that keep you back. (However this is not about stating things from a place of dreaming, this is actually allowing paths to open based on this thinking) for example, my first thought was on the idea I recently got for a project but had to stall. I said to myself, start doing those drawings on that new project that you have in mind, and when the money arrives, buy the materials and get the project done.
Act all of the time towards aquiring your goals. A way will be found and/or made.
The attitude is everything. Act from a place of knowing that everything you want to create can and will happen according to the nature of things.
Thinking this way certainly feels better than the alternative.
Sometimes you yourself are the problem because you are only looking at something from one perspective and that perspective is limiting. I think that from now on, when I focus on something, my objective is to then ask, now, show me how to get to the next step, and I am taking it NOW.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
New beginnings
I was doing some online research this afternoon regarding my creative idea to start an Art and Design Planning Company. My thoughts on the matter is to align myself with NGO's whom I believe have quite a great deal that they can do to impact the public, yet do not. This idea came home to me acutely when over the course of a month, I heard at least three NGO's on the radio talk about their very important work and the difficulties they experienced. My mind shouted, as I heard their issues. It was so obvious to me that they would be best served by good visual media carrying their messages. Then I had an aha moment.
I see my service as one where NGO's and other companies approach me for degrees of guerilla and other types of marketing of their ideas and concepts. This also includes my other design planning ideas as well, like doing the mall and the airports.
The whole thing sounds very reasonable on paper. My goal now is to see how to bring the idea into reality.
I see my service as one where NGO's and other companies approach me for degrees of guerilla and other types of marketing of their ideas and concepts. This also includes my other design planning ideas as well, like doing the mall and the airports.
The whole thing sounds very reasonable on paper. My goal now is to see how to bring the idea into reality.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Sunday, December 26, 2010
A great time of year
Last night my cousin called and we had quite a long talk. He asked me again the question of what I want to do? This year I felt very gung-ho about starting something new, and then the wind in my sails was clipped when my business partner died.
However, at this time of year this question is very apropo. I am back on the page where I am looking at what I wanted to do again.
I see that the point is to start. I have one project in mind already, and another one in the works too. Neither are necessarily about money, but they will be attention getting things in some way. I think that my objective is to just create the work and the rest shall fall into place.
However, at this time of year this question is very apropo. I am back on the page where I am looking at what I wanted to do again.
I see that the point is to start. I have one project in mind already, and another one in the works too. Neither are necessarily about money, but they will be attention getting things in some way. I think that my objective is to just create the work and the rest shall fall into place.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
In Reading Over
I thought that I should look at some of the things that occupied my thoughts this year, and realised that I have not written about the latest with my ex huband.
The councellor we had gone to had annoyed me, because she ' to my mind' seemed to be asking me to compromise to move forward. However, at the end of the day, I came to the conclusion that if I were to really progress, I would have to let many things that urk me, go. I just had to forgive and move on.
During this time, he decided that he would go to Canada. He has been there since the end of September and he has decided that he is not willing to look for some low paying, blue collar job. He decided this last month, and ever since, he has not even tried to look for anything at all. He has also not applied for our daughters' PR card or seen to renewing his own.
His about face about Canada is much more staggering in nature than I could have expected. When I was married to him, I thought that his going would help him to see how important what he was doing here in his own country is for him. Yet, I did not expect that he would fold so quickly and so easily. I have to do my best to not compare his attitude to my going and his attitude to his going.
He did write me an email apology for having believed that when I had gone that I was not trying hard enough. I appreciate that, because I did try hard and clearly, I tried harder than he did.
To look back and compare, and to know that so much of our lives has been spent in the futile attempt to argue who is right or who is smart.
What was it all for?
I thought that I should look at some of the things that occupied my thoughts this year, and realised that I have not written about the latest with my ex huband.
The councellor we had gone to had annoyed me, because she ' to my mind' seemed to be asking me to compromise to move forward. However, at the end of the day, I came to the conclusion that if I were to really progress, I would have to let many things that urk me, go. I just had to forgive and move on.
During this time, he decided that he would go to Canada. He has been there since the end of September and he has decided that he is not willing to look for some low paying, blue collar job. He decided this last month, and ever since, he has not even tried to look for anything at all. He has also not applied for our daughters' PR card or seen to renewing his own.
His about face about Canada is much more staggering in nature than I could have expected. When I was married to him, I thought that his going would help him to see how important what he was doing here in his own country is for him. Yet, I did not expect that he would fold so quickly and so easily. I have to do my best to not compare his attitude to my going and his attitude to his going.
He did write me an email apology for having believed that when I had gone that I was not trying hard enough. I appreciate that, because I did try hard and clearly, I tried harder than he did.
To look back and compare, and to know that so much of our lives has been spent in the futile attempt to argue who is right or who is smart.
What was it all for?
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