more thinking...

What an interesting thing it is to experience a tumult of feelings back to back that encourage you to think several things on one topic over a forty-eight hour period.
After our talk, I felt comfortable and even happy that we had reached what I thought was a consensus.
Then, I began to feel a sense of loss and even a bit of pique when I mulled over some of what was said.
Even later, I chose to conclude that I had something to learn from the whole thing. Then after I felt that I had closed that page, it started up all over again.
What I got from all of this, is to take a look at what I want and how I affect myself. This time, I come prepared with the knowing that I am standing strong. It does not mean that my ego is completely behaving...because I cannot deny that a small part of me is saying that I know that this is how it will always go down.
What I am getting this time is that I am in a control of the situation that has nothing to do with ego but with looking above what should happen to what can be better in the end, even if I might slip again...and slip because I am not going to lie, I feel him.