Sometimes I wonder about the nature of my thoughts. I feel lately, from time to time a missing piece of my life. I would like to be in a relationship with someone, but I wonder when this shall actually happen? It is not as though I go out much. Not only that, I wonder too, how does someone who does not go out socially find someone who would meet her needs and desires?
It has been five years, and I admit that I am feeling a bit sad about wanting companionship. It is also odd, but I feel a bit embarrassed to admit this to myself. I am not sure why? Acting as though I do not need such a thing is equally absurd. I suppose that it is a failing in my personality. it may also be a large part of why I am not approached. I possibly may seem un-approachable?
To be starting all over again, I wonder what could be in store for me? Do I want the whole looking cute, anticipating what he may do and say? Getting to know the man and then slowly or not so slowly plunging in to something and someone new? I feel that doing so shall help me move forward  and away from anything that can make me look back,
I have not really moved forward with someone new. I have not had a relationship since my divorce.
I thought that I should make sense of my feelings here so that I could at least see it in black and white.
 Now that I am at my age and stage, I want to meet someone who is clear about what he is about, an evolved person, who meets me at a place where he wants happiness, fun and joy in his life.
My mother has a friend who met her present husband when she was divorced with two little children. He also had a child, and they are still together, thirty years on. He is a wonderful person. I know a few people like that. I think that that is beautiful. I feel that it is time for me to acknowledge that this is what I want for my child and I, a person who comes into my world, whole and lovely, optimistic, loving and just a great person. A man with whom I feel even better about life, love and the world because together we make so much sense. I am probably babbling now, but I just wanted to start a ball rolling on this. To sort of state what is in my heart.