For the last few days I have thought quite a bit on what happened with both men. every cliche in the book seems to have been achieved. They both omitted information and both expected that they could just go on with business as usual.having experienced that, despite myself, I wonder about my own standards. Yet, these have been men who have been in my life for a very long time, so this is more about my own personal growth and the simple fact that I believed something at one point that I no longer believe as I move toward where I really want to be. That is really at the crux of the matter, and I am also wondering about my next move. At my age the cliche divorcee does not appeal to me. The dating scene does not either? The person suited for me may come along, who knows? I do know that there are enough things taking up my time to not have me feel like I need to worry about it too much. But I admit that there are moments when I would like to know that there is someone in my personal life. What these last two weeks makes me wonder is whether I may have been unclear myself about what I wanted to experience? I do not think so? Although I was relieved in both instances, at the way things went. I would not have liked to have taken either issue further and felt that it was all a farce. I think that I knew deep down that I did not want either thing in the bigger scheme of things. Both suggested a great deal of adjustment down the road that could not be guaranteed. I do not know whether it is that these men just have fantasies and are actually unwilling or afraid to act on them? I cannot say? I believed most of what they said to me, and what they implied, and what I did not believe, I confronted head on. I also believed that they do see my friendship as important. I think that neither of them is in a really good place right now, and I am a dangerous distraction, so I have taken myself out of the equation. They have both shown me a bit about my own value. They have reminded me that I am attractive beyond my own beliefs, I have much in my person to be proud of, and they did and do show me love in their own ways. Have much for which to be grateful. They are lovely men when I come right down to it, but at this time, neither suit what I really do want. They are not really free, and even if they were, neither may be right for me. Knowing this already, is a good thing for me.