Of late

Thinking on my mistakes is something I do often. Of late, I have been looking at people in the street, friends, acquaintances, and pictures online, on Facebook and elsewhere, questioning my own expectation for a good life. So what is a good life? It is a simple answer for me. It is a life where I am either doing everything I could possibly want to do and be financially secure. Or, if there is someone in my life, that that person is so in tuned with me that thinking on their issues make me feel that I am part of something that is also of value to me. I still feel a bit queezy to admit that companionship and love is something that matters a great deal to me. But enough of that, I am writing about ambition in this entry. It's time to focus on ambition in a way that I have not. I have of course had goals. But ambition...apart from my college dreams that I fulfilled, I do. Ot think that I have thought of myself from a position of superlatives that I want to tick off on a notepad. I have been so fed up, that it has become easy to say fuck it all. I must create and now, if I don't agree to it, I may as well be dead.