Reading over some of my old entries,one of the things that stands out is what I remember against what I wrote, and in hindsight, some of my writing over the years is based so much on strong feelings I held. I came to this space to make sense of my relationships. Today, I have come a long way from that. I also saw how I made certain decisions and saw them through, or took a bit of time to see them through. It felt good reading them tonight,as I now realize that although I write so much, I do hold on to many of my feelings, making really tough judgements on my character, although I may not show it. But it is there, and I know that it does not just happen to me. It is a pattern of behavior that we all deal with. I think that I shall start writing yadda, yadda when I know that I am holding forth in a very pretentious way that I do instead of focusing on my real feelings. In my readings,I was quite surprised that for once I was not blaming myself for some of my choices, but actually just realizing that the choices produced the outcomes they did because they worked that way based on what was known at the time...the typical, when you know more, you can act according to that new knowledge. Only one yadda here... Not being judgy as I wrote was so good for me. I embraced my history.