what a thing

A few weeks ago I was in another country, walking in a very scenic place, contemplating my next move in my life and career. It was a lovely, breezy day and I felt optimistic enough to consider the possibility of getting back, as the saying goes, on the market. That wistful sentiment proved to have been true, for as I returned to my home, I was met with the request of a suitor. Yes, I have been watching Game of Thrones and inclined to want to use the language for this particular entry. Anyway, it led me to have a moment where I had to conclude that my mind was receptive and because it was, I manifested the results. Now, less than two weeks in, I have already ended what it could have been before it had a chance to bloom into anything. It died on the vine. This time I was greatly helped to see that it was no one's fault, just a very different approach to life and particularly to love. I am taken by the fact that I have known the person for so long, and yet know so little about their emotional life, although I know all of the details that mattered as a friend. What I know about him as a friend and what I have already experienced as a prospect are two completely different things. I also saw the way this man sets things up to please himself. I do not believe that I factored much in his plans apart from what he wanted. Oddly enough, yet again, he has all of the proper traits. He is a loving son, a hard worker, a creative person, polite, funny, thoughtful...so what could go wrong? or what is it that wrung wrong? Selfish, egotistical, clueless skip quickly to mind. I know, who would have thought. He is very nice on the surface but not too far underneath he is also intolerant. But you don't pick that up until you're in a relationship, or a romantic situation with him. I think it may be that he was made to believe that to be a man, one must assert ones strength...brawn or something over the person one is attracted to?It came about in our conversations. I am not asked what would work for me or if I state what I desire, it is responded to with doubts on his part. He either has never done it, not interested in it in the past or can't afford it. This is so strange the way I have spoken to this person for so many, many years, and now, I do not know him at all...I am cautious with my criticism because I know that you react to what you are at any given time. So I would ask, is it inevitable that I cannot find happiness? I don't believe that to be the case. I am now overthinking. Sometimes people are just not compatible, even if they are friends.