90 day what?

Of late I have been looking at 90 day fiancee and it is telling some stories about human nature that I can learn from. You get to see how much people want to create fantasies.I really question how much people actually work on themselves as they launch themselves into experiences that they know are hopeless or at the very least, challenging. As a divorced person myself I know that I will be walking into any romantic situation with armour around me at first and the scary part is the shielding is there because of how soft I am inside, wanting to experience the best that love can offer. But a conversation with a friend recently answered how to conquer that. He said to me, why is it that so many people want so much from each other but no one is being honest? He then talked about walking into a relationship with one person high and the other person low...meaning, the other person has blinders up and the other person has rose colored glasses. He suggested that we all enter these emotional relationships with the expectations of becoming friends no matter how insane the hormones behave. I liked that way of thinking. I think I was hoping to achieve that when juliemangoman came along and swept me off of my feet.But I am also aware of how much that intense emotin swept me up. I was lucky to see and feel it, although I felt no control over it taking over my feelings. I felt so very vulnerable! I did not realise how much he had impacted me until he ghosted me the first time. Then he contacted me again and seemed so sincere. Then he ghosted again and I went on to think that we might have some sort of relationship two more times. I knew when I met him that I was wary about romantic relationships. I had just experienced The Towers and Frequent Flyer and I was absolutely jaded. When I encountered him, my first reaction was to completely dismiss him. But he taught me that I still have feelings. I still am both able and capable of a relationship and I am even willing to work on one with the right person for me. So I thank the stars that I got the opportunity to see that my heart is healing.