On my wonderful walk this morning I contemplated some things that went counter to the environment that encouraged the thought. I turned backward and had a moment to observe the valley from a height. In a house nearby, on the patio,the humming birds flitting around hanging containers of watered honey took my breath away. There were so many of them. So, the thought of my behavior a few years ago and most recently with my daughter when I told her a joke about something she was very sensitive about let me to the thought about anger. It came up and it led the way as I walked back down the steep hill of one of the neighboring developments. Anger. Of course very quickly my ex-husband also came to mind and I listened to what and why it caught my attention. Anger can make you less than clear in your judgement. Anger can make someone who in other circumstances may be rational, suddenly irrational. Ok. Yes, and...and I concluded that I am very concerned for what all of mankind is doing right now where that emotion is concerned. Yep, I went from one little germ of a hypothesis to a complete thesis in about a second. There is a court case that I was not taking on really, but the verdict was read yesterday, and I still need more information on it. But that was part of the train....The Rittenhouse verdict. We get angry, we react. We want justice. We become relentless over that deep hurt. It becomes scarring. As I decended the hill, I wondered about a way to demonstrate to others how much anger, rage, hurt, hurts the world? I thought about how we all gang up on persons who commit terrible crimes and we as they say here at home, 'wash our mouths' on the pain of others? It is a controversial thought because as my family and I have experienced being wronged by strangers breaking into our house, I should have no sympathy or empathy at all. Yet I do. I have had to consider where those two young men came from, at the same moment that I feared even considering if they would let us live. It is a damn tough thing to question. Should we turn the other cheek? My thought was more along the lines of rage and hate being something that needs to be discussed with greater understanding. I am writing that coming off like a clarion bell of group verbal abuse does not make any criminal 'better.' Recently I was looking at a series called YOU on Netflix. I was stunned by the premise of it. Particularly one episode where before the title came up, a disclaimer for suicide and a helpful hotline was stated. This series is all about two mass murderers! WHAT! A disclaimer for suicides? What about one for murderers???? Also, why the hell am I watching this series ? How can it be 'entertainment? Is there something wrong with me for being curious with that topic? Anyway, the point I am making here is that I have found in 2021 that for so many issues so many of us come out spouting platitudes like we are all so saintly and that person deserves punishment. I can't help but do a quick calculation down the centuries of how much our behaviour changes nothing. The contradictions that make us human sometimes makes me feel physically ill. I shudder at who we say we are. I don't have the answers, and I know that I shall write more on this as I continue to run it across my mind. But, jeez! I find that there is no honor in criticiing victims and perpetrators...and look at that, that word includes (traitor)waw! Perpetual traitor. No redemption possible in that title. Is there an answer? What solution can we come to? I don't know? I don't know? I only sense that more and more of more of the same does not work.