Some helpful thoughts

The other day when I wrote about my insecurities I have to now state that it cleared the way for feeling way better today. I have been doing the usual assessment of my year. What have I wanted to do, what did I actually do? Where do I want to be? What am I really accomplishing and on and on. Today I am looking at all of that more soberly. I have been able to feel like this as well because in the last two days I have been looking for an old address book and I have gone through lots of old papers and diaries and seen just how much I do on a daily basis, and all that I have been trying to accomplish over the years. I certainly have not been sitting still. In fact I have to say that under my circumstances I have managed to do quite a lot. I have been really concerned about feeling dissatisfaction as I have. I was worried that that may become my dominant state of mind. But then I remembered that I am in a pandemic like everyone else. I am going to have moments of disassociation, moments of sadness for all of the loss my family and I have experienced. I need a moment to breath, a moment to remember and recoup from all the emotions that flood in and overwhelm.' Today I remember what I want to accomplish. I feel like smiling and creating work and sitting around shooting the breeze and dreaming and I feel good.