My other side

Being in this house as I wrote before is like living with a ghost. I have moments when I feel as though I have gone bac in time. It isn't anything specific. It is a hovering sensation. I feel like all I can do is hold still and pretend that it isn't there and it will pass by like a cloud. Then there is also an awareness that my reaction is clearly a remnant of something I thought I had expunged. That is a but annoying. But then, I also see that it factors into a place that I never wanted it to reside in and that is insecurity. I know this because right after I stop playing that song on repeat, the next one is a litany of views that I battle with about myself that come up in rapid fire. Seeing what I am doing, the way that I am behaving, I centre myself and let it pass over me and I replace those feelings with what I am doing now.