Friday, March 3, 2023
afraid to be happy
Can it be imagined that one can be terrified to be happy/ It makes no sense because the alternative of being terrified when things go wrong is such a horrible experience...and within it, you are trying to keep afloat and find some sort of light somewhere to bring you some relief1 So why is it that feeling happy makes you worry/ Why is it that you are waiting around for the proverbial shoe to drop/
In my walk yesterday, a thought came to me about happiness being a choice. It really, really is a CHOICE. It is funny to write it, but it is true. By choosing happiness, you are really acting rebelliously. You are choosing YOURSELF. You are believeing in those moments in life that we all have that we gloss over and ignore.
For example, my friends who are here from America, are together and although they bicker at each other, I see their relationship as beautiful. My friend who has decided to stick out these extremely difficult times in their marriage is in her mode to survuve what they are going through together. I totally get that she cannot see such monets as beautiful right now. She has to get past the hurt, resentment, hard work, betrayal, shame...you name what she has put on herself and him based on everything over the last eight years. Yet, as a friend, I told her that she may not want to hear it or acknowledge it, but they are sweet together. To see them laugh at the same things and finish each others sentances is charming. My heart warms to see that.
Life is going to scare you, make you cry and want to die. It takes loves of your life away from you. It upends plans. It prooves you wrong all the time. You have not a shred of a guarantee about life other than the fact that it will change and that your life shall end one day.
Should you fear being happy/
HELL NO.
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