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Hmmmm. So much NOT going on. But that is always a good thing. I am old enough to know that whatever I am not missing, I do not need to miss. The Towers checks up on me every week now. It is a bit annoying because to me he is doing this purely because he is idle. I would much prefer he come clean and say whatever he needs to say, but I am afraid that he is clueless....and the last time I dealt with a man being that clueless, I knew that my relationship was in deep trouble. What annoys me most though is that it still gets a reaction out of me, and that nibbling trifle is very off putting. Why is it still hanging around? Did I think that we might have had something for a moment there? Perhaps..but what gets me is that I gave it a chance at all! I am kind of mad at myself still for giving him so much of my time, energy, affection etc. He appeared one way and now seems like a complete douche! I know that it is better to know this now than later, but it still irks me. I suppose that the feeling will run it's course and eventually fall away of it's own weight. The other weighed down feeling comes from my ex and the crap I got involved in. I would never have pit myself into such a situation other than him. I trusted him. But then, if I really follow the thread of this, he was really, really very conflicted and I cannot help him. He has to confront himself. He has told so many, many, many lies about his feelings, needs and wants...even about his abilities in his career...he has spent a great deal of time molding himself to fit an image that he does not even know that he is in an abusive relationship. So, again, it is best that I was able to step back completely as I have done. Then lastly, I have comment terms with these dead limbs, the last being frequent flyer, who continues to seek out my friendship. I do however have it under control. I do not encourage too much time, and I stick to the issue at hand. What all of this now means to me, is lots of free emotional time to say to myself, get your house in order. The right person is coming, and the baggage that I was holding on to, must really be swept away for good.