yes, I know and Its new to me again

Yesterday it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. I am keeping my good back. I am preventing myself from having the life that I say I want. What brought this cold reality home? A series of things...observing the successes of a few people around me, and my attitude about helping others in every way that I can. The way I talk to myself for example, I would not do that to anyone. The way that I lament certain things that I should do in my life...but if someone came and had my reservations, I would provide the energy and optimism to tell them to reach for their dreams. What is bothering me specifically is how close I always am to what I desire. I say that I want to start businesses that I can then either sell off to others or have others run. I say that I love to travel. I say that I desire romance in my life. This year I spent a great deal of time thinking about how to get these things done. If I were giving advice to someone not myself, I would have done the needful. Just a few days ago, I was looking at one of my many lists of things that I have to accomplish, and I noticed that I have a tendency to put the serious things I need to do for myself, last. One of them in renewing my drivers license. I have not done it in three years!!!!! I never used to do that. I always renewed it when it came due. I am oversimplifying a bit however. I have bills that come due and a salary that is erratic. But still, I have desires to do certain things, and I must get to doing the things that I desire to do and to stop putting myself last.