Drama

My ex husband was able to trigger me a few days ago when he got our daughter to call me about renewing her passport. His lawyer had already written and alerted me to his plan, and I decided that I would reply by asking for a return to the amount of time I get with her and her schooling. We went to court a few years ago and the judge had agreed that his case that she was closer to his home than to mine for school, gave him the greater access to her. We renewed her passport together in the past, so this time, to have his lawyer write me was absolutely over the top and unnecessary. Anyway, I wrote what I did and then she replied in the nastiest way. She was an absolute bully! So our dauhter called me to let me know about the letter sent to me and he was in the background saying that I was being difficult, and that led me to say that his lawyer was a bully. In the middle of all of this, I suddenly realised that I had unwittingly put her between us. I was mortified! It was as though I was watching the entire situation in slow motion. I could do nothing about it. The words had come out and the noise on her side of the phone was just noise. It didn't matter that I was (to me) explaining a situation. All that she was hearing was her father and I making her uncomfortable and being loud and obnoxious and she was in the middle feeling torn in half. I feel so badly about that. Naturally she got very upset with me and I had to give her some space. She took three days before we spoke again. It was terrible. You never want to look at yourself as an asshole or the person causing problems. I was really in a pickle about the whole thing. When she called me she let me know that she was still upset with me, and she let me know it. She also insisted that we not discuss it again. She was really placing her bounderies down, and I had to respect that. Amidst everything, our daughter has so much to teach me. I had to literally check my ego and also my tendency to want to fix things. I have had to do the tale between my legs situation and know that I will get the opportunity if I am lucky, to slowly but surely learn from what happened and to do better.