Learning from hopelessness

Last year a project saved my finances. Then it began to get weird. Things that were straightforward started to go wrong, and this year it continues to do so. Part of the issue is this very computer. I need to get a new one, but the tech is unstable. The truth is, I needed to make a hard call this year when the problems began to happen again, and depending upon what the client tells me this afternoon, I will have to deploy my hunch. This to me is the ultimate professional nightmare, getting paid for something and then having that thing work in a way that the cost of all the hard work cannot justify the hours and hours of extended work. What to do? At first the feeling is one of shock and upset. It is then closely followed by doubt and feelings of fraud. This is not supposed to happen. It is a terrible sinking feeling. Now, oddly, after having every negative emotion seep into the problem, comes a moment when you just have to strap on your boots and see what you can do with what has been given to you. I am there today. Having some light come out of hopelessness is damn worth it.