visit day

I decided to visit a friend today and it was a really wonderful experience. She cooked for me, and for the first time I truly enjoyed a complete vegan meal. We have discussed before collecting her recipes, but now I am going to insist that she and I work on that. She also mentioned a project that she wants us to do, and I love the idea. I cannot commit to it right now, but it shall definitely be on my list of things that must happen. We have so many things in common, but the things that we do not, we are discovering that we can learn from the others experience. She was telling me that her sister and herself nearly came to a physical fight. There mom has dementia and she has been taking the bulk of the care of her, so now that she has secured a residency for two months her sister is extremely angry about it. So I was telling her that perhaps her sister is used to feeling some element of control in her life and to see a major parent ill and unable to see her get better is very hard.I know because I just dealt with my own experience. Speaking with her and going over a number of issues that we shared, I heard myself saying certain things aloud that I believe in, but also I saw where I am now in regard to some of the things that I have gone through. She mentioned her latest relationship and how she had to end it, and got me to say that in my understanding men do not seek out women they do not consider, no matter how fleeting. However, women will compromise, will consider whether they are attractive enough, or just enough.It is not fair at all, but some perceptions do seem to be weighted toward male or female relationships.But ultimately,it was easy to see where there are opinions based on expectations and societal views, cultural views, family etc, and how you can shift your perspective where it meeds to be ie: what is genuinely best for you. Thus, the statement about her sister and about the necessity to do the work she has to do despite the circumstances she is facing. Her studio is in walking distance of her home, so she is not neglecting her parent in any way, she is simply asking her sister for her part of the responsibility to be shared for a few more weeks. Truthfully I would like my friend to be able to extend her work as she is doing such wonderful stuff and she is coming into her stride. Not having the opportunity to speak on certain topics and then listening to myself, I was taking my own emotional temperature. I could also see how far I have come with many things and the things that I still have to work on, like my grief over deaths that have happened, specifically my dad.Mentioning that I felt was huge to say aloud.It was just good to be candid and that was a breath of fresh air.