much more

When I visited my friend a few days ago, one of the things that I mentioned was the fact that I have always read about the lives of creative people I have admired. I never really gave any thought to the fact that people in the future may read about my life. I know that my daughter shall definitely be doing it, as I have diaries of my life from the age of eleven to the present. That realisation made me think more about the reality of living inside the creation that is me. If you are not careful you will miss your life, you will miss the wonder and the heartbreak and the value that it brings.But moreso, settling into my friends creative space really impacted me because I feel the energy of her space. I do not view my space in the same way. I think it is because it is not set up. However,I want to focus my thoughts on how I view the rest of my life. Of course there is some flexibility. But I do believe that it is essential for me now to have more structure in the space in which I find myself working. This means inventorying my cache of materials which to me is daunting. I always say that I need to hire two students to sort out all the things that I have. I have been alright with just starting the projects that I have to do. But right now it has already begun because I have stuff stacked up in a few corners. So as I am writing this, I think that here I go again, I am writing about something that I am presently in the middle of and not acknowledging it as what it is. OMG! This means that I have an image in my head of " what I want" and I don't think that I am "in" what I want. Perhaps I think what I want has a particular look and if I don't feel that I am in that look, then I don't have the look. This is silly. I am now seeing it.