gossip, gossip

So I write in threes a lot. So more on the topic I was presenting...my friend has known me a damn long time....when I think about it it may be for something like...thirty years! Waw! OMG! Not all of it as friends per say, several as getting to know how we would navigate friendship. There was a space between us because it began as a recommendation for me to do some work for she and her husband when I was still in college. They were one of my first jobs. Then it turned into much more, as my ex husband also met them and then the friendship built from there. She was always half listening to your conversation, champing at the bit to contradict you. At one point I was afraid to say anything at all to her as I realised that she came to conclusions whether I spoke or not. Back then she concluded certain things about me and who was I to contradict her. Then when I was seperating from my husband she took his side for a very long time. I just walked away from the friendship. It was painful, but somehow I didn't hold a grudge too deeply. Years later when she was able to confide to me what was happening in her own relationship, she apologised profusely about back then. I appreciated it. But I also understood very well that someone cannot be kind or empathetic when they are blind to certain experiences. It is akin to all of the planet talking into celebrity scandal. We don't know the person and there we go talking about them as though we are invested and know them personally. So I got it. Some of that behaviour is still in effect. I have had to 'school' her sometimes for some of the things that she blurts out about me like she knows them for a fact. She also contradicts me in ways that leave me gasping for air. How can you make such blanket statements when you are doing twelve steps and all the other uber jargon laced practices of California coaches and Doctors of emotional intelligence? How? But I recoil and remind myself that I equally can be judgy and that our friendship will make all of these sticky moments pass. But, boy, while your waiting for the weather to change, it is a damn bumpy ride. Imagine telling me that I heard wrong. Or that it 'didn't happen that way, couldn't happen that way. Are you sure that that was how it went? WHAT!!!!! Am I sure!!!! I am talking about genuine trauma and you are asking me about my recall?!? WTF!!!!So I shouldn't have to justify or explain, but then it gets under my skin so bad that lashing out is the go to reflex. Listen here bitch!What a balm in my mind that makes. Listen here bitch! But instead I calmly interrupt with, do listen to what I am saying. let me go over this slowly and you can interject but hear me out... Well my friend told me yesterday about a friend she has who behaves the same way and that she finds the person rude and boring. Lol. Our conversation was so long that I did not have time to go into the fact that she was experiencing herself...and perhaps our conversation may even be...god forbid...me experiencing myself also? comme c’est horrible!!!!!