energetic energy

So, again, I want to make another investigation into 'energy.' Today as I already mentioned, I was feeling out of sorts. I was going down the garden path of why is everything not working out? What is it that I am not doing? WHy am I so stressed? Then I bumped my right foot. Less than a week after finally getting the all clear to not have to return to hospital regarding the breaking of my left toe. So of course this time I felt like a wild, hysterical woman. What the hell is going on I screamed silently to the heavens as tears poured down my cheeks! What the hell is going on now?!!!! In the middle of that feeling I remembered the wonderful comedian Dane Cook who said that you can be crying, wailing and then suddenly realise that your acting. Lol. Thank you Dane. I interpreted what he meant as, there is only so much crying that the body can absorb, you have to move on,you cannot cry forever,you just can't,there is something that has to be done after that.(No one is coming to save you.) So anyway, it made me so upset and angry and pathetic all over again, and I then decided to use the rage as fuel and I said that I was not going to just wallow in the pain I was feeling...so I wrote all about being my trust fund. But then, after that, I called my mom wanting to not only read that entry to her, but to expound on how amazing 'energy' is...but guess what, she was so distracted that despite meaning well and wanting to listen to me, she kept interrupting me and we ended up hanging up. What I guaged from that was that what I am experiencing today is mostly or absolutely for me. It isn't about rushing out and talking about it. Here is perfect for it though, because it isn't about sunflowers and rainbows. My shitty feeling this morning that got easily fuelled by whatever I lay my gaze on continued to the hurt foot. Now the hurt right foot may not actually be some sort of bad luck omen as I instantly thought. It may even not have any meaning whatsoever. Yet,the situation again gave me a nod to how I use my thoughts. It also is a nod to how much 'in the flow' of energy we are collectively. By favoring or choosing to go on a journey of low energy I found it everywhere and felt it everywhere. The answer it gave to me was to build up my core and to remember or remind myself that it is not only fleeting, but also not something to take to heart too much....the same can be said for feeling elated too... its all well and good, but these extremes are just that....observing in all things is actually the fun part...and sometimes it is easy to forget. So, I may have now sprained and/or broken the right second from my pinky toe. I now know what I need to do. I now am fully present. I am now damn mad and focusing differently and I am most of all, waiting for what comes next with a slightly different mindset. Am I just another human trying to make meaning from the random? Most likely. But guess what, my consciousness also likes this game and shall give me whatever answers will keep its little child quiet while it does what it does. The End.