Trust Fund

Ever so often when I am feeling very overwhelmed or anxious about things just not going according to plan, (so that is a lot...) I sometimes fantacise about having a 'trust fund'. Now I must confess that I had one of sorts in my life. I just chose to cash it all in for the level of education that I wanted for myself. Today,in the kind of funk I found myself in,the thought came up again and it suddenly dawned on me that I am MY TRUST FUND. Right away I had to ask myself,do I TRUST MYSELF? What is a trust fund anyway? To me it is a fixed amount of money (intentionally accrewing in nature)that is held for you to use in a discretionary way. Well, what am I doing with my trust fund? Have I been squandering my creative 'capital?" Have I been leveraging my expectations and 'pivoting' when I find that my investments are not yielding the fruit that they should? Do I play a long game or am I always dipping into it with every intention of putting the capital back and then never doing it? Now that gave me pause, so much so that I think that it would make an exciting little article somewhere where writing about life is called for. Perhaps one of my many projects. What do I hold my 'trust fund' to be? It is the sum of my experiences, my creativity, my culture, my hopes and dreams that have been realised and those that have not, the intention of them yielding great fruit in the future. I am always 'banking' my trust fund. I am always looking over it like a protective parent. However, many times I make swift withdrawals and do not consider the boon that my fund provides me. I do not always honor it with respect. This happens when I am stressed or have expectations that do not provide the hopes that I have, so I treat my trust fund like an account that does nothing for me, and for that,I must atone. My trust fund is my parachute. My trust fund is greater than physical money. My trust fund funds not only my future but those of my future benefactors and beyond. In my trust fund I must vow to build not only a nest egg, but an attitude of gratitiude to all that pouring into myself means. I am not to pour poison. I am not to withdraw all of my savings looking for investments elsewhere and outside of my trust fund. I am to remember that my trust fund was set up from inception with every intention to cushion my life. My trust fund is a support system that is to wear well with all of the ups and downs of life. My trust fund is a life jacket to know I may never have to wear for long or if so, I can keep in great condition for any other need. My trust fund is not out of sight, out of mind. It is a constant living, breathing investment in myself. My trust fund is also NOT only for good times. In fact it is during the worst of times that my trust fund provides me with a reminder of all that has been put into it. It is at those times that looking at the healthy balance matters most. I thank myself for having my trust fund. I promise to deposit more and regularly into my trust fund from now on and not take it so much for granted. Thank you MY trust fund. I am so relieved to know that I have one, and always will.